Console Wars!

The current generation has given us the most fevered gaming contest since Sega vs. Nintendo and the 16-bit battleground of the early 90s. It was a simpler, more innocent time for The Shed, just moving into double figures as we were. Back then the rivalry seemed to be confined to the games, iconic characters going head to head (a pit fight, Mario vs. Sonic: who wins?) as gamers took sides, arms folded in a b-boy stance. It was a contest between the fans of the two camps, it was about the gamers. The difference between that time and the current conflict is crucial and telling and when we get down to the brass, just as silly.

This time it's the companies who are so openly fuelled by the competition. No longer are they content to sit back and let the software speak for itself. It's a constant to and fro, Sony and Microsoft vying for press attention in a bid to look bolder. Their is no holding back, the inner workings of the marketing machine are obvious and plainly exposed and honestly, it's fucking boring. Do gamers really care about the conflict? Must we still pledge allegiance to a side?

Microsoft's bearing is that their machine is all about the software. "At its heart, (the 360 has) been built as the best video gaming machine that's going to be available in this generation. That is what it's all about for the gamer." So sayeth David McLean, one of Microsoft's Home and Entertainment Division bods. A bold and fair statement, if only it were the whole truth. It's contradicted somewhat by the announcement of the new 360 Elite, due later this year complete with 120GB HDD, HDMI hook-up and ugly black casing (a step back in design terms, perhaps).

"We won't force experiences that require the new HDD. Games will still be optimized around the 20GB experience. Nobody will be forced to buy a new drive." So speweth Albert Penello, Microsoft's director of global platform marketing. So if not required for essentials like game saves, then what is the extra storage for? In the long haul it'll be painfully obvious: movies, photos, music and all sorts of downloadable firmware and game expansion packs. The extra space will be indispensable if you want to get the best from your machine, and Microsoft knows this. And so we have to ask why these features weren't implemented from the off. Shrugging and saying 'the technology wasn't ready' doesn't quite cut it when you're faced with an army of 10 million raging 360 owners. Suddenly Sony's 60GB basic startup seems like a stroke of marketing genius. Microsoft's constant attack on Sony's PS3 pricing is starting to sound tired too. A fair point - the PS3 is expensive - but we've all known this for a while now.

Sony says the European cost of £425 is justified when consumers consider the long term capabilities of the machine they are buying. A 'fully blown entertainment device', a lifestyle device not confined solely to playing games. The BluRay capabilities and the ambitious plans for the online 'Home' community are just two examples of their widescreen view. Still, there is one Sony pricing issue worth talking about - the pricing up of the PS3 for the European market. That certainly can't be justified. For a CEO, Howard Stringer seems to have a bleak realist view: 'If we fail, it is because we positioned PS3 as the Mercedes of the video game field." Contrasted with Phil Harrison's optimism, again we see contradictions and shaky marketing plans revealed.

Alberto Penello on the 360 Elite: "And for a unit that's got twice the hard drive storage space as the PS3, comes with an HDMI cable, an Ethernet cable and a headset, it's still $120 cheaper than the $599.99 high-end PlayStation 3." Not for existing Xbox 360 customers, sadly. The Elite looks a timely marketing move and a shameless attempt to steal some of PS3's shine in the week of its Euro debut.

Fortunately, the competition on the software front is something heads can really get excited about. Awesome, era-defining games are on the horizon for both consoles, and the frenzy of anticipation can be marred only slightly by the two giants taking every opportunity to snipe the exclusives. The Shed says this: neither console has the edge, neither is better, it's all gravy. Consider that the predicted shelf life for this generation is 10 years, it's dumb to pledge loyalty like shit isn't gonna change. Until consoles can wax your genitals and print bank-notes, hardware and spec talk will remain a mind-numbing bore. Can't everybody just get along and enjoy the games? It's a bit sad that all the consoles, peripherals and HDTVs will cost game lovers a couple of grand to enjoy the best of the best.

^ Nintendo: Slick and unique console design.

Perhaps Nintendo should be held up as an example called 'How to enjoy the fanfare without blowing your own brass'. They have quietly and calmly done their own thing with the Wii and have made a massive impact, 1.2 million sold and counting. The approach is savvy and refreshing; from the much-loved Wiimote, to the classic games for download on Wii Shop Channel, to the unique little touches like WiiConnect24. Massively expanding the potential audience of worldwide gamers, the Wii is ironically more about 'lifestyle' gaming than its bully rivals can currently hope for. Surely there are seismic shifts to come, but right now Nintendo are standing small and acting clever.

Up, Down, On, Off: Custom Tracks

What does it mean to customise? Customisation is on one level the ability to turn in game music up & down, on or off. Nowadays gaming is all about avatars and profiles, creating your personality online and in-game. Games like Elder Scrolls take this customisation to ridiculous heights and that's great - if it's offered, why not go all the way?

Custom tracks bring me grief. Rather it's the lie, the unfulfilled promise on the back of the box, that really grates. NBA 2K7 is my favourite new perpetrator. I couldn't wait to hear my own beats blaring out on court, but it wasn't to be. Custom tracks ain't having beats blaring out through the 360's Dashboard. If it ain't in the motherfucking arena, I don't wanna hear it. I definitely don't want my favourite rappers shouting '2K Sports!' in my ear hole. You're nice on the mic, but I'm still gonna mute ya. Compared to NHL 2K7 and its detailed customisation options, NBA looks like the sickly sibling. Two different developers, but doesn't the same publisher want a uniform feel to all their sports titles? MotorStorm is a brilliant game, PS3's finest so far, but the racing experience could have been so much better if gamers could choose their own soundtrack. Imagine racing to The Trashmen's Surfin' Bird? Or The Ramone's Blitzkrieg Bop?

Music heightens a gaming experience. I'll never forget the joy of racing to Prodigy's Firestarter in WipEout 2097. Although it was in-game music, it was as if I'd chosen it. I love the Prodigy, it felt personal. Unfortunately most game developers aren't as spot on musically. That depends on your taste, and that's my point - choice is the only way to please everyone.

In this age of hard storage, I reckon this is something gamers want. It's a small want, but nonetheless part of the overall package Microsoft, Sony and Nintendo are selling. Definitely it should be standard for sports and racing titles. But taking the idea further, why can't we have user chosen beats in story driven titles? Imagine running through the mall in Dead Rising, listening to your favourite songs all tinny, piped through the Tannoy. I understand and respect the reasoning against this. Designers make creative decisions as to how music and sound serves the atmosphere, but...c'mon, it could be made to work with a little extra effort. As long as the users music can be featured in game and in context, there shouldn't be a problem.

I can only suspect that the resistance has something to do with record labels and exclusive licensing rights. Thanks, boardroom dealmakers, now I have to listen to Slipknot. Oh, wait a sec...I can turn it off! Wow. It feels so real. Out here in the desert, only engine hum for comfort. Hang on...hey...I can turn that off too. Adrenaline soars, racing in silence. Forget all that legal balls - if the GTA franchise can do it, so others should follow. Give us the option, at least. I fucking hate Slipknot, man.

GTA IV trailer: The Shed speaks!

^ GTA IV's protagonist suggest that Rockstar may be
giving us another rags to riches story as this fella's fresh
off the boat and out to begin anew. He does lack the charisma of previous GTA anti- heroes, so maybe we're being a bit hasty in thinking this is the guy we'll be playing as.

Millions of rumours and speculations have been circulating about what shape GTA IV will take. London? Tokyo? Chicago? THE WHOLE WORLD? It's been a long time coming but Rockstar have finally got round to releasing some details on GTA IV. The hotly anticipated trailer has had Rockstar's servers melting over the last 24 hours with rabid gamers desperate to get a glimpse of the biggest game of this year.
The Shed mentioned that Rockstar said the GTA IV trailer would offer an in-depth look at the game but unfortunately we were wrong. What it does give us is something to foam at the mouth about as well as a wee taster of what the game will look like.

Depicting what looks exactly like New York, with familiar famous landmarks like the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building and Brooklyn Bridge GTA IV will either take place back in an expanded, more detailed Liberty City or real life New York. In either case, colour us mildly disappointed. We hoped that Rockstar would have made an effort to fabricate something entirely new and original, after all we have been to Liberty City twice now (three times if you include the brief sojourn to LC in San Andreas).

Visual clues suggest that the game will retain the unique brand of tongue-in-cheek humour that the series is famous for, ads for Sprunk and Clucking Bell join the huge 'Getalife' building in the trailer being prime examples. These clues may also offer insights into how the game will unfold. 'Getalife' could be construed as a mission statement since GTA's new protagonist is an Eastern European immigrant fresh off the boat, starting with nothing, coming to the land of opportunity to make his fortune. Could be interesting.

New York or Liberty City, GTA IV's new world looks solid and well-realised, looking like a well established, more densely populated urban maze. GTA IV looks like it is set in a real city, taking a small step away from the stylised cities of previous instalments.

Just remember that all is not always as it seems when it comes to Rockstar's games and there may be a lot more to GTA IV than this first trailer suggests. The Shed wouldn't spit coffee across the room in surprise if the uber-developers threw a curve ball in the coming months with new conflicting follow-up details to confound and confuse us all. Presently, we remain a tad underwhelmed but ever optimistic that Rockstar will blow us away when GTA IV blooms into full fruition when it hits the shelves of local game emporiums everywhere. Until then we pray that "Things will be different." Just watch the trailer and decide for yourslves and for the love of God, lets us know what you think!

GTA IV trailer coming soon!! (Tomorrow)

We've been salivating like a pack of hungry dogs for this ever since we hammered the final nail into Vice City Stories' coffin and exhausted the array of GTA clones vying for our attention. We want the real deal now more than ever, so it's perfect timing for Rockstar to release a trailer for next-gen GTA.

Whaddaya know? Those wonderful people at Rockstar have created a trailer which can be viewed from tomorrow at their official Grand Theft Auto IV website. Wanna see it? Of course you do and you can find it right here with this link: http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/

Expect an excited reaction from The Shed as soon as we've had a chance to take it all in and make up our minds about it. Come on, you know it's gonna be special.

Rockstar have promised that this is no mere teaser too, stating that it will be in-depth and offer a genuine taster of what to expect.

Words can't justify the excitement...

The weekend that was the PS3 launch...

After months of fevered anticipation it was with pure elation that The Shed snatched its new PS3 away from the postman on launch day morning. Here's a run-down of our first three days with Sony's beast.

The same weight as a breeze block, the PS3 feels next-gen and upon wiring the black monolith up to The Shed's 37" HD beauty it was time to drink in the future.

Kicking off with MotorStorm was a good move, it's the perfect way to settle in with the power of PS3, packed to the gills with next-gen moments.

Surprisingly, the sixaxis works pretty well and so far we're not missing the rumble function too much, although a bit of feedback from rough terrain would have been nice...sigh.

Our next experience isn't so satisfying, Genji: Days of the Blade being a stale hybrid of Dynasty Warriors and Onimusha but not nearly as good as that sounds. We perservered with it for a good while, but it wasn't long before repetitive hack and slash got the better of us and we opted for a blast on Resistance: Fall of Man.

A solid, well-made first person shooter, Resistance is good fun, engaging and instantly accessible. Shooting aliens is a bit of a no-brainer admittedly, but Resistance does it well enough.

After giving Resistance's multi-player a quick going over, we get a taste for competitive gaming and resolve to throw Virtua Tennis 3 into the disc slot.

Having played the 360 version already, we attempt to scrutinise the differences between the two graphically and there's very little to separate the two. Virtua Tennis 3 manages to consume the subsequent 5 to 6 hours as we sink into its variety of wacky minigames and multi-player options.

It's getting pretty late and we haven't even taken PS3 online yet. First things first, we download firmware update 1.60 which takes ages. Gran Turismo Concept HD is free from the PlayStation Store too so we decide we'd have to be completely Jordan-brained not to grab it. Weighing in at a mere 690MB GT HD still manages to take over an hour to download, monopolising valuable time we could be gaming. We find out we could have been doing other things while it downloaded in the background thanks to our recent acquisition of 1.60 firmware. D'oh...

We decide that taking our multi-player gaming online probably isn't wise right now what with our slow connection. We'd rather not start off our online experience with a series of laggy, humiliating defeats.

It's with burnt retinas, an HD-induced headache and a wry smile that The Shed rolls over onto the couch, fully-clothed, teeth unbrushed, falling into a sweaty, blissful slumber. Lucid PS3 dreams follow as we look forward to spending the next ten years together.

PlayStation 3 has us tightly gripped in its clear black and chrome claws and refuses to let go. The next-gen is here, and we love it.

Review: Lost Planet: Extreme Condition (2007, Capcom. Xbox 360)

Capcom bring out the big guns in 2007. On a hostile planet, one bland man stands alone against thousands of alien bugs and fails to be the hero.


You could argue that ever since the advent of cut-scenes computer games have aspired to involve gamers in the same way that movies involve the viewer. Interactivity is the dividing line of course, but the storytelling language of film continues to influence how games tell their own tales. Is it fair to judge a game by standards of film criticism? Perhaps not, but as games and films begin to come together, its fair that we do focus on a games story-line and the quality of characters and writing. Lost Planet is a game with cinematic flair but disappointingly its story doesn't inspire great hope for the future of games. And then there's the gameplay...

Before the bashing begins, let's start with what Capcom has done well. The graphics are beautiful, up there with the best of the next-gen. The frozen planet makes for some interesting terrain and the lighting is the beautiful sheen holding everything together. Ambient glows, diffusion, its all done to perfection, a softened look that is truly striking in HD. It's all done with bombast: smoke and fire, real depth of field, solid collision detection, even when dealing with some wild enemy design. These creatures and machines will loom tall before you, each moving distinctively, each with its own personality. The world and design of its levels are interesting, the old school boss battles are grand set pieces that are never short of challenging. But then there's the plot...ah.

For 150 years human settlers have searched for a means to terraform and colonize the harsh ice planet E.D.N III. Sub-zero conditions make it difficult to stay alive and warm and the native alien race (the Akrid) are hostile and many. The humans fight to conquer the infestation using heavy artillery and huge armored robots (Vital Suits), but progress has ground to a halt, slowed by infighting between the factions competing to be the first to make the terrain habitable. Enter Wayne, a confused young guy caught up in the madness. He seeks to dissolve the mysteries of the 'Frontier Project' and absolve his survivors guilt by hunting the monster that killed his father, the Akrid known as 'Green Eye'. In outline form Lost Planet makes a great idea for a game.

OK, so that last bit about vengeance is a little silly, but this is anime-lite after all and there's no denying the setup sounds intriguing, a chance for epic gunfights on a beautiful, desolate planet. Particularly in the early levels, Lost Planet delivers on the details and design with raw creative skill. That early promise is precisely what becomes frustrating as the story eventually descends into unfocused madness. Honestly, the story outline could be written on a napkin and most probably was. Sadly, Capcom's half-cut vision doesn't really go beyond the napkin stage. The story continues but nobody cares, they just want to shoot shit. Fair enough.

Most reviews would stop talking about the plot here, dismissing it with a scoff and moving on to gameplay talk, but fuck that. The Shed cares about plot, about character and nuance and good writing. In this most cinematic of generations, we should expect more from our games. Why should story not be under scrutiny? You see, the different warring factions that sounded so intriguing are all essentially fighting to achieve the same goal. After 150 years you would have thought they might have reached some peace agreement and combined their efforts. The allegiances of the different characters shift wildly as the writers attempt to double cross the audience, instead out-thinking themselves and leaving a messy spaghetti of plot strands. Terrible pacing, continuity blunders and cut-scenes that rarely reflect the in-game action really take away from any feeling of involvement or connection.

Sitting atop the mountainous disaster of the story is perhaps the least charismatic protagonist games have ever known. Wayne Holden is the reluctant hero (hero is a bit overzealous) awaking from a 30 year coma, fighting amnesia and alien scum on his slow journey towards the truth. Initially we can forgive the poor sap for being such a bore - his father was deaded by a big green beetle, his feet are a little chilly and he can't remember who his friends are. Every cut-scene deeper into the tale, we learn nothing new about the man we control. Perhaps it would have been interesting to explore Wayne's inner turmoil as he slowly realises that he doesn't have a personality? At any moment The Shed was expecting him to just cry and give up the ghost. Instead we see no emotion whatsoever on Wayne's stoned face. What's funny is that the makers found it necessary to show the character copyright on the title screen, like he's the new Mario or something. Crazy.

Wayne would certainly be more bearable if he was fun to control, but therein lies this game's most unforgivable and glaring flaw. Wayne is slow. Wayne is clumsy. Wayne is weak. Wayne is a hate conduit. On foot the character moves like he's running in treacle, which makes sense trudging through a snow drift, but he never gets any lighter on his feet. Protracted movements make jumping or throwing a grenade feel like Herculean tasks. Most enemies you face are a lot faster than you and often much larger, so Wayne's shortcomings are quickly stretched to breaking point. No doubt the designers wanted to replicate the feeling of a heated battle, explosions and smoke disorientating you and ramping up the intensity - but with a severe lack of any decent defensive manoeuvres, Wayne is often left being battered around in a succession of slow falling or standing animations. There are moments where you might as well just put down the controller and grimace like a dickhead in your enforced role as spectator.

Hey, at least the fucked up controls are consistent, easily transforming the many and varied Vital Suits into novelties that quickly wear off. Wow, you can really feel the weight of these 10 tonne machines! My boosters are pathetic and so is my firepower! When a gatling gun can't take down a foot-soldier in less than one shot, something is very wrong. The weapons are great - all manner of big mounted rockets and lasers - but they lack any real kick. Again, movement and aiming are obstacles to any feeling of control. Better tailoring of actions to the controller would have made a massive improvement.

Beyond subtle changes, major additions could really have enhanced the basics of game-play and transformed this into the stellar title it should be. For a start, Wayne needs to be twice as quick. The Shed loves Arnie, but the one-man-against-the world schtick is laughable here since Wayne is so below average in the agility stakes. A choice of playable characters from Wayne's team would have been a nice touch, each with their own different strengths to bring into battle. While we're at it, the device of forcing the player to collect Thermal Energy to survive is clunky at best. Even in the bowels of a volcano you still have to worry about the cold. Heat sensitive this ain't.

Why so angry? Really it comes down to Capcom not making the most of such huge potential. There's a lot to like about Lost Planet. Amazing graphics and sound, superb art design, a fun and unique multiplayer experience (which works chiefly because all opponents are human controlled, leveling the playing field) - it scores well on the most common targets. The long distance irony here is that looks don't mean shit if the fundamentals aren't up to scratch. Lost Planet is a tramp dressed in a tuxedo. He looks striking, but soon you realize that what strikes you is the smell and that underneath the evening wear he hasn't showered. There's a lot to like about Lost Planet, but not a lot to love.
Taste: 7/10

Review: Final Fantasy XII (2007, Square Enix, PS2)

Hopefully the arrival of this review will go some way to explaining the Shed's recent, inexcusable absence. Final Fantasy is always an epic affair, effortlessly consuming your spare time with its absorbing narrative. Unrivalled in scope and grandeur, FF is the undisputable granddaddy of all RPGs.
Following the online only PC and 360 exclusive FF XI, the latest in the long running series has taken its sweet time arriving on these fair shores. And the first thing you notice after a few hours play? FF XII stinks...absolutely reeks...of George Lucas. There's more than just echoes of Star Wars (1977) inherent in FF XII, it practically lifts the movie's central characters and drops them in a different universe. Protagonist Vaan is an orphaned local boy who crosses paths with a roguish sky pirate and his sidekick. Together they embark on a journey to rescue a kidnapped princess. Heard this before? So far, so very, very familiar.
Once you get over the obvious similarities between this and a certain popular space opera, FF XII really comes into its own. The usual thrill of exploration remains ever present as you're presented with a rich and brilliantly realised world. Meticulously designed towns and cities give way to vast, sprawling deserts and plains inhabited by (now avoidable) monsters.
There are however a few problems with FF XII. First of all, the game can take a while to get into and doesn’t draw you in right from the off like previous instalments. Secondly, there can be a lot of aimless wandering, fighting creatures that whilst avoidable, will track you relentlessly, attacking you as you attempt to flee. The new free roaming combat system is a bit of a cheat too, as all it really allows you to do is move freely while you fight.

It actually has no effect on the course of battle as moving away from attacks doesn’t prevent hits from connecting and attacks are still turn-based. Not really the revolution we were hoping for then, but a positive step in the right direction nonetheless. On the up side, FF XII’s licence board system for upgrading your party is a masterstroke allowing for steady growth of your characters by purchasing weapons, items, accessories, magicks and technicks, then purchasing the requisite licence to be able to use them.
Biggest problem of all though is FF XII’s comparative lack of charm over its stable mates. You see, FF XII has adopted a look that whilst rich in detail and flawlessly designed just seems to lack a certain je ne c’est quoi. Final Fantasy XII is still undeniably brilliant and absolutely essential, it’s just that for us, it doesn’t quite gel.
We still love Final Fantasy XII and as always it unashamedly robs 50 + hours of our precious time. It’s a testament to the timeless appeal of the series that FF still blows us away with each new iteration, consistently managing to reward the player with enduring memories and fresh, exciting experiences.
Did we say our inexcusable absence? Here’s our excuse…now you have an excuse too. To go play this, now. Just remember to say goodbye to family, friends and your social life for the next few weeks.
Hit Points: 9/10

The Shed is back.

The Shed has been on a brief hiatus because...um, because...a dog ate my homework, sir.

There's no excuse for it really. We've just been playing a lot of games, which means there'll be a torrent of new reviews coming soon.

Rest assured that we're not resting on our laurels and will be writing a whole bunch of new stuff soon.

We continue to wait for PS3 with baited breath and are impressed with Sony's take on Xbox Live and Wii's Miis entitled home. Slightly plagiarising elements from Nintendo and Microsoft for sure, but taking a different approach. Very exciting stuff.

In addition take a look at LittleBigPlanet and try not being intrigued...go on, try.

It's an exciting time to be a gamer, friends. Exciting time...

Our favourite movies: #2: Commando (1985)

Joel Silver produced the Matrix trilogy, a successful film series for sure, but nothing, NOTHING compared to the Silver produced Commando. Starring Arnie at the height of his powers, the movie opens with our hero swinging his chopper around, thumping wood into halves. A fitting metaphor for what is to come as John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) has got some wood to chop and nothing's going to get in his way. And this time it's personal, as the bad guys have (cliche alert) kidnapped his daughter. Time to go shopping. That's right, shopping...Arnie style. Using a bulldozer as a key to the gun store, Matrix goes a bit Dale Winton chucking bazookas, shotguns and grenades into his trolley. As you do. This brilliantly ridiculous scene sets the tone for what is arguably...no, not arguably, IS the greatest action movie of 1985.
Driven relentlessly by that stunning, not to mention unique steel drum soundtrack, Arnie reels off some of the best one-liners committed to celluloid. Delivered impeccably in Schwarzenegger's trademark Austrian dialect, the lines zing like rapid-fire, white hot bullets of rapier wit wounding their targets before they've had a chance to bite the dust. And bite the dust they do in spectacular fashion. Arnie's escort fatally elbowed in the face: "Don't disturb my friend. he is dead tired." Snivelling henchman Sully dropped off a cliff edge: "I let him go." Tough guy nemesis, Bennett impaled by a steam pipe: "Let off some steam, Bennett!"
Zing! You're dead. Schwarzenegger uses words like a machine gun toting Shakespeare.
Throw in expendable soldiers torn up by bullets, grenades and scalped by frisbeed circular saw blades and you've got yourself a bona-fide action classic.



The visible springboards intentionally left in shot as Arnie's foes are blown up by his tossed pineapples only add to the movie's charm which we're sure was a concious artistic choice on the director's part. And it all works beautifully.
Commando represents a star at the height of his powers ruling over the movie world and the entire action genre. Screw becoming the governor of California, this is Arnie's greatest achievement.