School days, eh? Weren’t they great? No? School for most is a socially awkward time, pupils divided into cliques, having to watch your back for phlegm-laden projectiles. No? Just us then.Canis Canem Edit (formerly Bully, before ignorant Daily Mail-reading controversy-mongers got their way - don't get us started) manages to encapsulate the school experience perfectly, having to adhere to a strict routine, encountering morally dubious teachers: all the elements are present and correct. What’s most beautiful about the game is the hazy, nostalgic Breakfast Club-era vibe that it exudes. Don’t expect to bump into knife wielding scholarly pariahs on Bullworth Academy’s grounds, this is school like it used to be, or how we remember it at least. Comments that the game is ' a Columbine simulator' are way off the mark and the refusal of some stores to stock the game are ludicrous.
Starting out, you’re railroaded through the opening missions and lessons in order to progress. It’s only when the front gates swing open that you discover the town of Bullworth and the wealth of new challenges and possibilities on offer. Paper rounds, BMX races, boxing, even a carnival complete with sideshows and rides can be visited for the very reasonable admission fee of just $1. Bullworth is a fully realised community, taking in abandoned warehouses, docks, railways, beaches, slums, posh housing estates and trailer parks.
Scrap! Scrap! Scrap! Scrap!
Playing as Jimmy Hopkins - a troubled kid, abandoned by his gold-digging mother – you decide to take the school back from the jocks and bullies ruling the playground preying on the weak and helpless. At your disposal is a fluid and accessible combat system where you can effortlessly take on multiple assailants and come out looking tough...sorry, I meant well 'ard. It’s a vast improvement on the brawling system adopted by the Grand Theft Auto series and even surpasses the combat in The Warriors. Jimmy can pick up any weapons lying around too, such as baseball bats, planks and dustbin lids. Your inventory also gives you access to a slingshot (obviously), eggs, stink bombs, firecrackers and some quirky, cool surprises that we’ll not ruin for you here. As Jimmy you can wreak havoc all over the school and surrounding town. However, vandalism, bullying and harassment come with severe penalties if you happen to get caught by an authority figure. Canis Canem Edit is undoubtedly the most enjoyable game the Shed has played this year by far, the sheer variety of missions and side quests on offer mean that you’re never short of things to do. Bullworth’s world is one that conveys a firm feeling of involvement, your actions affecting the relationships between the school hierarchy and social strata. Ultimately, the objective is to acquire 100% popularity among all of your peers, but to achieve this often involves putting a rival group’s nose out of joint. Factor in serial meddler and nemesis Gary Smith and things get very complicated, very quickly. Despite this you’ll always manage to effortlessly overcome your rivals and any offending obstacles because Canis Canem Edit is a bit on the easy side. Thankfully there’s plenty of game to play through meaning that you won’t be finishing it in a hurry. Once again, Rockstar have passed with flying colours, delivering a game that is both fun and involving, harking back to those rose-tinted, bygone school days of yore. So, a big tick and a smiley face then. Well done.
Verdict: 9/10
Post-script: A rant. Once again myopic morons have been up in arms again over the latest controversial scapegoat: the game formerly known as Bully. Have they even played it? If they had they'd know that it's not nearly as violent as normal, everyday school life. There's no knife crime, no shooting fellow pupils (One narrow-minded dumbass has been quoted saying the game is a 'Columbine simulator'). So, this rant goes out to all the foamy mouthed, buttoned down, always morally outraged Daily Mail sect who would ban anything even remotely shocking if they could. The Shed doesn't like you.
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