The Shed's BUZZ 2007

2007 is going to be a hell of a year for games and movies. It’s a great opportunity for us to wheel out the superlatives and see how many times we can write the word exciting in one article. Here’s our pick of the hottest shizzle to look forward to in the exciting coming new year. Exciting…

MOVIES:

80’s sequels a-go-go with Rocky Balboa, Rambo IV and Live Free Or Die Hard. Who knows, maybe Spielberg will get off his arse and make Indy IV after banging on about it for years.
New Harry Potter, Shrek, Bourne and Sin City movies too as well as the first adaptation of Philip Pullman’s incredible fantasy trilogy His Dark Materials: Northern Lights have us wound-up with excited, exciting, excitement.
Below are the big 5 to look out for in 2007:

5. Hot Fuzz (dir. Edgar Wright)
Following up the hugely successful Shaun of the Dead, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team-up again as a pair of rozzers. One a brash, gung-ho London cop, the other more used to the sedate pace of village policing. Promises to be the funniest film of the year.

4. Transformers (dir. Michael Bay)
Robots In DisguiseTM on the big screen, finally! The Shed was a tad apprehensive to learn that Michael (Explosions! Helicopters! Tangerine sunsets!) Bay has been chosen to direct the movie version of our most cherished of childhood toys, but we’re assured that Bay has a healthy respect for the source material. Knowing Steven Spielberg is on board as producer allows us to sleep a little better at night. We hope this'll be More Than Meets The Eye!TM

3. Grindhouse (dir. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez)
This is bound to be something very special. Expect a pulpy, stylised, over–the-top, slice of cinematic violence and mayhem from two always-exciting directors. Rose Mc.Gowan as a showgirl with a machine-gun for a leg? Um…ok!

2. The Simpsons Movie (dir. David Silverman)
Mmm…Simpsons Movie. Do we really need to say anything about this? It’s The Simpsons, in movie form. If it's even half the quality of the usual classic episode, but running to feature length, colour us happy. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie at your local multiplex!! Be excited! Be very, very excited! Prepare to go d’oh-nuts!! Insert your own d’oh pun here!

1. Spider-Man 3 (dir. Sam Raimi)
Web-head goes dark as Raimi brings us the alien costume saga where Spidey purloins said get-up which turns out to be an extraterrestrial symbiote and sends him insane. Joining the Green Goblin, Sandman and Venom is another villain being kept under wraps. We can’t wait to find out and see the biggest movie event of the year. (The Shed wishes it could whore out poster quotes like Paul Ross because that was a great one).

GAMES:

With the European release of PS3 fast approaching and the Nintendo Wii now available (on eBay for about £500) it’s an exciting time for gamers. Sequels, sequels, sequels as usual but exciting sequels nonetheless. Mercenaries 2, Devil May Cry 4, Ridge Racer 7, Final Fantasy XIII and Burnout 5 all prove that sequels are where it’s at in 2007. Here are the games that are getting us hot in our nether regions:

5. Halo 3 (Bungee. X-Box 360)
The most eagerly anticipated and yes, exciting sequel to one of the all time great first-person shooters. Halo 3 joins the illustrious ranks of quality shooters now available for Microsoft’s curvy, off-white PC-in-a-box. Good news is with Landon’s Christmas acquisition of said hardware, The Shed will now feature X-Box 360 reviews! Yes!

4. Army of Two (Electronic Arts. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
Nothing beats a good co-op game with a friend. Flashbacks to games like Streets of Rage, Mercs, TimeSplitters and The World of Illusion Starring Mickey and Donald (okay, scratch that last one) conjure up recollections of shouty gaming sessions (Watch my back! You go there! NO! Not there!!) that have made and broken many friendships. And so in this two-man shooter you can shout at either the AI or your mate’s incompetence and recapture those treasured memories…with friendly fire OFF. (No, ON!! etc.)

3. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (Konami. PlayStation 3)
Hideo Kojima’s uber-sneak em’ up returns with a rapidly aging Solid Snake sporting a beautifully rendered Des Lynam ‘tache. The tagline ‘nowhere to hide’ suggests that MGS 4 will place more of an onus on stealth camouflage out in the open battlefield rather than the traditional hiding behind crates that we’re used to. PS3’s power will also mean that scenery will most likely be fully destructible, meaning that the sturdy brick wall you were eyeing up as a safe haven can be reduced to smouldering fragments in the blink of a cybernetic eye. Looks like the odds will be stacked against Snake even more than usual as plagues of chilling biomechanical bipedal tanks take over. We’re scared…and excited.

2. Assassin’s Creed (Ubisoft. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
It’s Prince of Persia, but not as we know it. You play as Altair, a lithe, nimble assassin (like, duh) who is a member of a shady guild during the time of the Crusades. What really has us wanting this game is the promise of lateral thinking and go anywhere, do anything gameplay. If Ubisoft successfully deliver on their vision, then players are in for a real treat. Add inventive swordplay and a retractable wrist mounted blade for quick, covert scalpings coupled with a clever control system which has you controlling Altair’s individual limbs and Assassin’s Creed is shaping up to be hot property indeed.
While we’re on the subjects of athletic killers, Ninja Theory’s Heavenly Sword deserves a special mention as it too is looking like it could be a beautiful dose of hacking and slashing for the PS3. Watch this space.

1. Grand Theft Auto IV (Rockstar. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
This is the big one. The first proper sequel to Grand Theft Auto III, (the clue’s in the title, folks) the expectation riding on GTA IV is immense. Due late in the year, (around October) Rockstar have plenty of time to polish their baby to a blinding shine. Details on the game are currently scarcer than Britney Spears knickers but are expected to emerge slowly in the coming months. The Shed hopes to see a game of San Andreas size, fully accessible interiors, fully destructible scenery, monkeys on bicycles, hot air balloons, the ability to explore space and the edge of the universe. Ok, so we’re not expecting too much, but now we’re just waiting with baited breath for the first screenshots to emerge. Get a move on, Rockstar!

Bad news just in: no Resident Evil 5 until 2008 otherwise this would have easily made the 2007 list. It’s going to be a loooooong wait as this one shambles towards release like the decaying undead.

End of Year review: 2006

In 2006 we discovered of the old rather than danced with the new. But what new stuff The Shed did check in our own insular way, we enjoyed very much:

MUSIC
Landon's picks:
Spank Rock: YoYoYoYoYo (Big Dada)
Kool Keith-style sex rhymes, block party boom music and Armani XXXchange, one of my new favourite producers.
J Dilla: Donuts (Stones Throw)
Another hip hop legend passes, leaving behind this shiny beauty atop a career pile of gems. Re-inventing soul music, hinting at new directions we'll unfortunately never see, it's a whirlwind experiment, a stroke of casual genius.
Thom Yorke: The Eraser (XXL)
Thom makes laptop magic, a companion to the Kid A era sound. Brooding, uplifting and atmospheric as always, but more direct and personal. Gotta feel that voice.
Battles: EP C/B EP (Warp)
What is it? I don't know but I love it, all chopped guitars and brain melting rhythms. Smells something like a rock band playing instrumental hip hop, but in neither box. A danceable soundtrack.

Rich's picks
Didn't really take in much music this year. The Killers new album, Sam's Town is alright I suppose and I can't really remember what else came out this year. I've been enjoying old music mostly. I'm an aural ignoramous this year. Sorry.

MOVIES
Landon's pick:
The Host (Dir. Joon-ho Bong)
My favourite this year. Engrossing and suspenseful, a monster movie of originality and class that's anything but straightforward. Flips from tragedy to comedy in a second, keeping you on your toes, deftly spicing political and social criticism with the main family drama. It's $12 million dollar budget goes a long, long way.
Lady Vengeance (Dir. Chan-wook Park)
The best end to a brilliant trilogy since Back To The Future III. Not as heart-rending as Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance, not so crazy raw as Oldboy, but altogether a more elegant beast. Like an ornate mirror it's beautiful in it's own right but also reflects well on the previous two, allowing for appreciation of the whole.
Grizzly Man (Dir. Werner Herzog)
Fascinating documentary subject in Timothy Treadwell, self-invented wildlife actvist and bear enthusiast. That Herzog can cut 100 odd hours of footage shot over a 13 year period into such a precise, personal tale is tribute to his talent, but also makes a fitting epitaph for Treadwell and his life's mission.
Brick (Dir. Rian Johnson)
A clever conceit (hardboiled detective story supplanted to a sun-bleached California high school) that calmly delivers. Sharp dialogue and a heavy central performance from Joseph Gordon Levitt. Johnson's six year struggle to get the film made makes it that much sweeter to marvel at.
Miami Vice (Dir. Michael Mann)
I had no doubts going in (it's my boy Mann), I had some gripes coming out (emotionally empty, Colin Farrell, digital film at times not so convincing as in Collateral) and still it impressed; an action movie with the style and balls to stand tall. Favourite scene: the trailer park standoff, a masterclass in suspense. A film for the guys, it makes me want to drink mojitos in Cuba, grow a 'tache, shoot automatic weapons. Just kidding, about the mojitos anyway.

Rich's pick:

Casino Royale (dir. Martin Campbell)

Daniel Craig silenced his critics and we were treated to the best Bond film for the last decade. For me, this is the stand-out film of the year, purely because I was worried that it would be a mess and I could have wept with joy when I found out that not only is it not a disaster, it's actually an incredible film in it's own right, Bond or otherwise.

The Departed (dir. Martin Scorsese)

Marty firing on all cylinders like back in the day. A searing cops and crims thriller with stellar performances from a flawless cast.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Rocky Bobby (dir. Adam McKay)

Funniest movie of the year, without a shadow of a doubt. Will Ferrell's on form and John C. Reilly is a comic revelation. The funniest racing car movie since Days of Thunder, and that was hilarious.

GAMES
Landon's pick:
Shadow Of The Colossus (PS2. SCE)
Mostly I get my games on at Rich's house, mostly for sheer jokes (Scarface). But Colossus I had to play alone, a personal journey. Sparse, enigmatic storytelling to fire the imagination, gorgeous otherworldly landscapes, a fantasy title I can actually dig. I found myself completely bewitched by it, fully immersed and by it's end, genuinely touched. Who would have thought games could be so moving? An instant entry into my hall of fame.

Rich's pick:

Where to start? We've been spoilt this year , but as a PS2 and PSP owner, I'm biased, so here are my picks.

Canis Canem Edit (PS2. Rockstar)

Capturing perfectly the rose-tinted hue of bygone school days, CCE is a charming, enjoyable game. The school hierarchy is something you find yourself easily caught up in, school was never this much fun.

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (PSP. Rockstar)

Yeah, yeah. Rockstar again. And yeah, yeah it's Grand Theft Auto which is in it's fifth 3D installment and yes, it is essentially more of the same. But when it's this good we can't get enough...although, we'd like something mind-blowing for GTA IV please, Mr. Rockstar.

Heroes 06: Korean cinema, Fumito Ueda, Robert Altman, James Brown, Arnie (every year).
Dicks 06: Mel Gibson.

Review: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (2006, Rockstar. PSP)

Of all the console sandbox titles out there, Grand Theft Auto is undoubtedly the daddy. It is the game that has inspired more imitators than any other, from True Crime to Saint’s Row to Total Overdose, Mercenaries, Just Cause…the list goes on and on. None of them have managed to surpass or even equal the original and best, yet who would have thought that the 3D iterations of the world famous series would remain so fresh after five instalments in as many years.
Although essentially more of the same, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories adds a twist to the usual proceedings. Clearly Rockstar have had a peek at the competition, notably Scarface: TWIY as VCS is all about building your own empire (see Scarface: TWIY review below) and ultimately taking over Vice City. Protection rackets, loan sharking and prostitution leads to drugs, smuggling and robbery, quickly yielding enormously profitable results. For the first time in a GTA game, the money comes in large quantities, fast and relatively simply.
This time round you plays as ex-marine Vic Vance, brother of Vice City supporting star Lance Vance. As a marine you have some extra moves to be used in close combat, conveniently lifted from Canis Canem Edit. So now you can grab enemies, chuck them to the ground, pummel them a bit or why not just snap their neck? It’s a nice touch to now have a few extra options at your fingertips in a close-combat scuffle. However, when things start to get chaotic, slowdown can be a constant bugbear. In the heat of a busy scrap it can often contribute to your being wasted where normally it could be avoided.
Previous game Liberty City Stories demonstrated that GTA could work well on PSP despite annoying little irritations like the aforementioned instances of slowdown as well as ghosting during rapid movement and vaguely twitchy character models accompanied by an eerie, perpetual ‘heat haze.’ Unfortunately both of these problems persist with VCS, but these minor visual issues never marr the overall experience.
Everything you could do in the PS2 version of Vice City is expanded upon, so you can still fly helicopters and ride motorcycles but the addition of BMXs, quads and jet skis add a little variety to the usual vehicles on offer.
As always, missions are interesting and varied and the usual selection of rampages, unique jumps and other collectibles complement the central narrative and are there to be completed should you have the perseverance to garner that elusive 100%.
Still, there’s a nagging feeling that without the empire building facet of GTA: VCS, this would just be another conventional GTA game, which is no bad thing. It merely raises the question of where the series can go on next-generation consoles. It’s time the series was given a bit of a shake-up as Rockstar could easily churn these out forever and they’d still remain popular and lucrative. The Shed loves the GTA series and knows that Rockstar are bound to pull something special out of the bag for GTA IV. Until then, we’re happy with the latest chapter of GTA on PSP, as it does everything you’d expect and more. Executed with the customary deft style and panache, GTA: VCS is a triumph and stands as the most essential title yet for PSP. Even the presence of Phil Collins doesn’t spoil it. It nearly makes him seem cool…what other game can boast such a unique accolade?

Verdict: 9/10

Review: Scarface: The World Is Yours (2006, Vivendi Universal. PS2, X-Box)

Tony Montana died at the end of Scarface (1983), there’s no doubt about that. He soaked up bullets like a lead sponge and fell face down in his pool. Dead, dead, dead. There was blood and everything. Scarface: The World Is Yours asks: what if Tony hadn’t bought it? What would have happened then? Opening with the climactic shootout it’s your job to shoot your way out and rebuild Montana’s crushed empire. It’s a genuinely upsetting moment when you see Tony’s respect meter and bank balance drain to zero. You’re clear on the game’s objective at this point: rebuild Tony’s vast empire to its former glory. First the money, then the power then the women - you know the drill.
From humble beginnings, small time drug deals and property acquisitions, it’s not long before you’re caught up in full-scale gang wars battling for Miami turf. Soon you’re engaged in major drug runs, distributing large quantities of coke (that’s cocaine, not the brown, bubbly soft drink, kids) to the masses. The cash starts to accumulate so quickly that you’ll happily spunk millions on cars, boats and stuffed tigers or pink flamingos (obviously) for your mansion: perfectly in keeping with the over-the-top 80’s excess of the movie. Later on you’re able to buy businesses and hire henchmen specialising in certain tasks to do your dirty work for you. It’s rewarding involving stuff and makes you feel like you’re playing something that exists as a natural expansion of the movie world, the game is so true to the look and feel of the iconic film.
Scarface: TWIY is arguably the best movie adaptation ever, the Al Pacino likeness is spot on and the voice performance (care of an impersonator hand-picked by Al himself) is excellent. Also true to the film is the wonderfully creative and colourful language Tony uses, which you can activate at any time just by pressing O. So an artful “cocksucker” or “fuckin’ cock-a-roach” is never far away. Pressing the swear button during a heated gun fight leaves you open to fire but fills the all-important ‘balls’ meter and accumulating balls is the crux of the game, earning both money and respect. Complete risky drug runs and the screen will proclaim: ‘1000 balls!’ Survive a hairy shootout and chuck in some defiant taunts and watch the balls roll in. It’s all about the balls. Fill your meter to the max and you can unleash Tony’s rage mode which switches the perspective to a first-person view and renders you invincible for a short time whilst killing enemies replenishes health. It adds a welcome dose of strategy to gunplay lacking in other Grand Theft Auto Xeroxes.
Yet, Scarface: TWIY is far from perfect. Although graphically solid and convincing the game world is badly designed. A game like this is always going to invite comparisons with GTA, so here goes. In GTA, it’s always possible to find shortcuts and hidden areas with relative ease. Not so in Scarface: TWIY. The number of times you hit a dead end during a car chase, will have you grinding your teeth. Fall in the drink and you have to swim for ages before you find a way to get out. That is unless you get eaten by a shark(!) first. What Scarface: TWIY thankfully doesn't share with GTA is the skittish, unreliable aiming system, which really helps when you’re taking on waves of ruthless cock-a-roaches. Oh, and try to steal a car in the same way as you would in GTA and you’ll bounce off the bonnet like a rag-doll making Tony look like a pussy. Stupid. There’s also an over-reliance on fill-the-meter mini-games to negotiate deals, which soon becomes tiresome.
That Scarface: TWIY remains immensely playable despite these niggles is proof that it represents it’s source material perfectly and shows it due respect, and isn’t that what it’s all about? Respect? Well, that and balls, apparently.
Verdict: 8/10

Gravel voiced greats # 3.5. Tone Lōc

"A lot of rappers got flavour, and some got skills/But if your voice ain't dope then you need to chill"

THE MUSIC














After experimenting with various folk ensembles, young Anthony's life settled into the deep groove that hip hop provided and the world came to know him through his music. It was party music, a feel good sound with a sweetness to counteract the sour themes NWA, Ice-T and the like were exploring at the time. If West Coast rap was a bowl and gangsta rap some natural yoghurt, Tone was the much needed honey to complete the scene. Legend has it that super-producer Dr. Dre learnt how to makes beats over at Tone's house. No Lōc? No Dre, no G-funk, no Snoop, no Eminem, no 50 Cent, no Game. Game over, in fact.

He was a unifying force, a rapper for everyone. He wanted to make hip hop whole. He is a man of the people: "Whether I'm in a shoe box or performing for the Queen of England, it doesn't matter, I make it sound the same." Liz loved his show and so did the shoes.

The tune that launched Tone Lōc into super-stardom was the aforementioned 'Wild Thing' in 1989. While Public Enemy, the Beastie Boys and Run DMC had flirted with a fusion of rap and rock, Tone was the first to make it shiny for the masses. While white people were afraid of or appalled by most hip hop, they now found their pasty limbs moving uncontrollably to Lōc's easy access beat, their brains familiar with the track by 60's rock band The Troggs that Tone was name-checking. While 2 Live Crew were getting into legal trouble for their use of samples, Tone was laughing as he liberally took the guitar riff and drums of Van Halen's 'Jamie's Cryin'. The band didn't sue. Point is, if you're as cool as Lōc, you don't have to pay royalties, motherfucker.

The booty shake classic had a clever video too, Tone aping the 'girls with guitars' theme seen in the vid for Robert Palmer's smarmy sex anthem 'Addicted To Love'. Tone did it with more taste though, opting for a super-cool black and white look. What's more, it only cost $340 to make. Holler. Lōc was an astute cultural remixer with a gift for iconic images and sounds. A hip hop Tarantino, you might say.
If you need further evidence, check the sleeve of his '89 debut album, Lōc'ed After Dark. In showing the influence of legendary jazz artwork, Tone attained an untouchable West Coast cool. He took hip hop by the hand and guided it into the future. Tone Lōc is a post-modern hustler.

For me, the icing on his first album is the colossal banger 'Funky Cold Medina'. These days showy rappers wear diamonds and drink Cristal and spend thousands to entice women. Why pour your money down the drain? They should be calling up Tone to get the recipe for Funky Cold Medina. You see, the tune is all about a magic love potion guaranteed to give the horn and have people fighting to get in your shorts. Tone doesn't need to drink it (it's made from his essence), but he's telling all listeners to look inside and find their inner pimp juice, that crunk juice that'll make you get up on the dancefloor and grab a girlie. It's a torch song to self-affirmation. That and he gets to rhyme Medina with wiener.

In another classic promo, Lōc gets up to all sorts of havoc with the mystical green elixir. He feeds it to his dog (and has all the dogs coming over to his house, a charming little metaphor), he turns down transvestites (while making you irresistible, sadly a Funky Cold One still gets you fucking wrecked). "Ain't no plans with a man/this is the 80s and Lōc is down with the ladies..." he quips. Tone likes to crack jokes but has to state for the record that he ain't gay - thus establishing a rap archetype. He also has to turn down a marriage proposal - the Medina has backfired! Girls, Lōc doesn't want wedded bliss, he just wants to fuck. Another hip hop staple? Check. So remember, if you're a single 40-something and you're worried you'll die alone, get the Medinas in. Not too much though, or you'll end up pouring it down the drain like Lōc at the end of the video. Clearly Lōc doesn't care about the environment. I'm not mad at the guy. At least it ain't money, right?

Check these pictures - this guy is rocking some kind of portable mixer/turntable device, evidence that Tone was a pioneer in electronics, too. He then defied conventional thought and went one better, adding a fucking fret board! What became of this device and why isn't it on a wall at the Hard Rock cafe? Rumour says a device labelled 'Lōc-SP550' surfaced at an auction in 1996, but quickly disappeared into the hands of a shadowy bidder. It is a mystery as intriguing as that of Lōc's name, forever shrouded in a laid-back mist.

You might say Tone Jōke if you find him laughable, or Tone Crōak because of the frog in his throat, or Tone Brōke because you saw him on Celebrity Fit Club. Mock all you want. He'll be back. Not in some apocalyptic storm cloud of hail and fire, no. One bright summers day, he'll be walking down a street in your neighbourhood...

YOU: Hey, Tone
TONE: Hey, man
YOU: Where you been? When's the new album coming out?

Tone will smile and hand you a record. You'll watch him walk off into a mirage on the horizon. You'll go home, drop the needle to the groove. As you listen, you'll cry a single sepia coloured tear. It will be the best album you've ever heard.

~Landon Garrett

Gravel voiced greats # 3. Tone Lōc

I was about ten years old when I was introduced to Tone Lōc. Whenever I recall that moment, I see comedy legend John Candy pissing in my mind's eye. Wiping away the metaphoric urine and a lone rose-tinted tear, I smile as the scene from Uncle Buck (1989) plays in my head: the touching routine where Buck tries to piss in a kindergarten urinal. The 'Wild Beats' instrumental of Lōc's track 'Wild Thing' lends the moment a sweet comedic bounce and I remember being captivated by the rhythm. A white boy living in rural England, hip hop was alien to me at that point, but a seed was sewn. It could be said my love of hip hop and movies grew from there, fused together in the fire of my heart, the flames extinguished by John Candy's piss to forge a lifelong love of both art-forms.

First, the name. There are conflicting sources as to the origins of Anthony Terrell Smith's monicker. Some say it originated when his peers nicknamed him "Antonio Loco" (Spanish for "crazy Anthony"). Others say the word "Lōc" stands for 'Love of Crips', showing his colours in connection to the South Compton Crips, an L.A. street gang. Personally I like to think Anthony shares my passion for sweet French snacks, 'Lōc' meaning 'Love of Crêpes'.

THE FILMS

Another early personal intro to the man came when he supplied his dirty throat buzz for animated feature FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992). Voice acting was a natural fit for Tone, but he didn't stop there. Great voice + great face = a steady career as a reliable character actor, playing heroes on both sides of the law, laid-back and laconic and wooing movie-going cynics who frown on rap music. On the set of Poetic Justice (1993) Lōc would butt heads (literally) with Tupac Shakur. Pac was stunned (literally) by Lōc's cool verve and a complex 40 minute freestyle about French cuisine. Tupac would have just 3 years left to implement all Lōc had taught him over those few days filming. Before his death in '96, Shakur had dropped four multi-Platinum albums. After his death, Tupac's legend lives on; particles of his ashes reincarnated as 'new' releases, to the platinum joy of record companies the world over. Tone Lōc, like a wise mentor never selfish in spreading knowledge, smiles on Pac's success.

The heat of Tupac's burgeoning fame made Tone want for simpler things, and so it was he showed a laid-back and direct performance alongside Rob Schneider in Surf Ninjas (1993). Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) followed, perhaps Tone's finest role as laid-back cop Emilio. Doubters chuckled when he didn't return in the hit sequel, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995), but were 'flipped the bird' when Tone was hand picked by the great Michael Mann to work on Heat (1995). Tone continues to work in film and television. Huh? You wouldn't have heard of any of them, you only watch shit.

Today rappers have it easy. Record sales translate easily into star-vehicle offers (see Eminem and 50 Cent), glorified biopics about lives before the mic - drunken toasts, cheap blends of fact and much fiction. Back when Lōc was making records it was raw charisma alone that was the golden ticket to the dreamland of the movies. Of course there are others who managed to juggle music and acting successfully, all of them breaking into film after Tone Lōc had gained Hollywood's acceptance.

Check the roll call: Ice-T (credited wrongly by many as the O.G. rapper/actor), LL Cool J (Lackluster Lōc, Cool? Just...), Ice Cube (also producer, writer & director) and Will Smith. On paper, Smith seems to be the rapper that broke the mould, the shining example of how it should be done. He is the highest paid black actor in Hollywood, commanding $20 million a movie plus 20% of the box office. For screaming headless turkey I, Robot (2004) alone he banked $35 mill. Fact is y'all, Lōc don't need the money, because he has the RESPECT. Lōc is the mirror image of Tony Montana. First he had women, then power, then...respect - something I give none of the others on the list.

Tone didn't make IGN's Top 10 Rappers Turned Actors list (though they had the pips to include Mark Wahlberg), but he sure made mine, coming in at positions 1 through 10.

~Landon Garrett

Movie review: Stranger Than Fiction (December, 2006)

You’d be forgiven for thinking that this is another movie based upon a mind-warping script from quirky scribe Charlie Kaufman, the man behind Being John Malkovich (1999) and Adaptation (2002), but it’s not. It’s actually the work of debut scribbler Zak Helm and as such it stands up as fantastic piece of work from a first-time screenwriter.
When Harold wakes one day to hear his life being narrated by a woman with a British accent and a better vocabulary, he quickly realises the perceptions of the people around him and becomes aware of the trivial idiosyncrasies that make up his everyday life. Harold becomes increasingly agitated, until one day he hears that he has set in motion the events that will lead to his death. Crick determines that he must find and stop the narrator before he meets his end.
Treading a similar route to Jim Carrey in The Truman Show (1998), Will Ferrell opts for a restrained approach as hapless IRS man Harold Crick only letting loose once or twice with a trademark frustrated man-child yell. Ferrell’s performance lends his character pathos and sympathy as he strives to convince everyone that he isn’t crazy, although he’s essentially hearing a voice in his head. Maggie Gyllenhaal is excellent as the pissed off cookie bakery owning anarchist undergoing an audit from Ferrell’s milquetoast taxman, becoming an unlikely love interest.
Stranger Than Fiction moves along at a nice, steady pace as Crick tries desperately to find the author of the persistent commentary accompanying his everyday life. Dustin Hoffman provides solid support as the English lecturer helping Harold through his unique dilemma, playing a similar character to the one portrayed in I Heart Huckabee’s (2004).

A feel good romantic comedy, marred only by line graphics that soon grate after excessive use and a pointless turn from Queen Latifah, Stranger Than Fiction is a success, despite a somewhat cosy conclusion. Well-written, well executed, funny and heart warming, Stranger Than Fiction is well worth seeing.
****

Movie review: Casino Royale (November, 2006)

Let’s face facts; the last Bond film was a throwaway affair, bogged down by ropey CGI effects, ridiculous ideas and stupid gadgets (invisible car, anyone?). Fast becoming a franchise bloated with excess, it was inevitable that Bond would have to go back to his roots in order to survive in the 21st century. With Casino Royale, Bond goes back to his roots in more ways than one. Actually based on Ian Fleming’s original novel, Casino Royale reveals how Bond became a 00 agent and as such serves as a reboot for a the franchise in the same way Batman Begins (2005) was a revision after the neon mess that were the previous two movies.
Bond’s birth is an unrelenting baptism of fire as he undergoes immense tests of physical and mental endurance. For the first time in the series, Bond is humanised more than ever. For this, full credit has to go to Daniel Craig, who has truly made the character his own. Any doubters or sceptics will instantly be silenced after witnessing Craig’s performance; his Bond is altogether relentlessly animalistic and cold-hearted yet perceptibly vulnerable: a complicated contradiction that makes Bond less easy to categorise as previous incarnations. As seemingly invincible and ruthless as The Terminator one minute (the runway sequence), exposed and lovelorn (“I have no armour left…You’ve stripped it from me”) the next, you’ll empathise with and root for Bond more than ever.

If you thought Bond suffered in the opening sequence of Die Another Day (2002), then the squirm inducing torture scene will leave you feeling queasy. Craig’s Bond actually convinces as an unfeeling killing machine, his craggy features making him the most unconventional yet, whilst at the same time being the most believable. When he beats the living crap out of a bad guy, there’s no doubt that he could snap him in two with his bare hands. Equally comfortable in a sharp tux playing cards and drinking martinis you’ll forget about the (in retrospect: ridiculous) furore over ‘blond Bond’ and embrace the reality that Daniel Craig is James Bond and he’s here to stay.
Ignore reviews criticising the pivotal card game at the titular casino as protracted. It’s not: it’s exactly as long as it needs to be, although the summarisations from Mathis (Giancarlo Giannini) at certain junctures aren’t needed. What you have is a tense sequence where the stakes are high and the drama is palpable. Mads Mikkelsen menaces as villainous card sharp and eccentric mathematical virtuoso Le Chiffre, his poker tell a sinister bloody tear. Minor gripes like the opening credit sequence (in keeping with the theme, but a bit cheap-looking) and a woefully misjudged accompanying song pail into insignificance after the first explosive, free-running action sequence has played out. And within the first ten minutes you’re hooked and then you realise, new Bond rocks. Still, all the important elements that make Bond, Bond are still all present and correct. There are moments of humour, quick-witted comments, cool cars, stunningly beautiful women (Eva Green and Caterina Murino are outstandingly sexy) and sun-kissed European locations. Therein lies the key to the success of Casino Royale. None of the tradition has been tampered with, it’s still familiar but it’s clearly been influenced by the Bourne movies, adopting a raw, spare, non-glitzy approach.

Casino Royale will take hold of you from the very beginning and won’t let go until the climactic scene, where that immortal line is finally uttered, that theme kicks in and Bond is officially reborn. Bring on the sequel.
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