MOVIES:
80’s sequels a-go-go with Rocky Balboa, Rambo IV and Live Free Or Die Hard. Who knows, maybe Spielberg will get off his arse and make Indy IV after banging on about it for years.
New Harry Potter, Shrek, Bourne and Sin City movies too as well as the first adaptation of Philip Pullman’s incredible fantasy trilogy His Dark Materials: Northern Lights have us wound-up with excited, exciting, excitement.
Below are the big 5 to look out for in 2007:
5. Hot Fuzz (dir. Edgar Wright)
Following up the hugely successful Shaun of the Dead, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost team-up again as a pair of rozzers. One a brash, gung-ho London cop, the other more used to the sedate pace of village policing. Promises to be the funniest film of the year.
4. Transformers (dir. Michael Bay)
Robots In DisguiseTM on the big screen, finally! The Shed was a tad apprehensive to learn that Michael (Explosions! Helicopters! Tangerine sunsets!) Bay has been chosen to direct the movie version of our most cherished of childhood toys, but we’re assured that Bay has a healthy respect for the source material. Knowing Steven Spielberg is on board as producer allows us to sleep a little better at night. We hope this'll be More Than Meets The Eye!TM
3. Grindhouse (dir. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez)
This is bound to be something very special. Expect a pulpy, stylised, over–the-top, slice of cinematic violence and mayhem from two always-exciting directors. Rose Mc.Gowan as a showgirl with a machine-gun for a leg?
Um…ok!2. The Simpsons Movie (dir. David Silverman)
Mmm…Simpsons Movie. Do we really need to say anything about this? It’s The Simpsons, in movie form. If it's even half the quality of the usual classic episode, but running to feature length, colour us happy. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie at your local multiplex!! Be excited! Be very, very excited! Prepare to go d’oh-nuts!! Insert your own d’oh pun here!
1. Spider-Man 3 (dir. Sam Raimi)
Web-head goes dark as Raimi brings us the alien costume saga where Spidey purloins said get-up which turns out to be an extraterrestrial symbiote and sends him insane. Joining the Green Goblin, Sandman and Venom is another villain being kept under wraps. We can’t wait to find out and see the biggest movie event of the year. (The Shed wishes it could whore out poster quotes like Paul Ross because that was a great one).
GAMES:
With the European release of PS3 fast approaching and the Nintendo Wii now available (on eBay for about £500) it’s an exciting time for gamers. Sequels, sequels, sequels as usual but exciting sequels nonetheless. Mercenaries 2, Devil May Cry 4, Ridge Racer 7, Final Fantasy XIII and Burnout 5 all prove that sequels are where it’s at in 2007. Here are the games that are getting us hot in our nether regions:
5. Halo 3 (Bungee. X-Box 360)
The most eagerly anticipated and yes, exciting sequel to one of the all time great first-person shooters. Halo 3 joins the illustrious ranks of quality shooters now available for Microsoft’s curvy, off-white PC-in-a-box. Good news is with Landon’s Christmas acquisition of said hardware, The Shed will now feature X-Box 360 reviews! Yes!
4. Army of Two (Electronic Arts. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
Nothing beats a good co-op game with a friend. Flashbacks to games like Streets of Rage, Mercs, TimeSplitters and The World of Illusion Starring Mickey and Donald (okay, scratch that last one) conjure up recollections of shouty gaming sessions (Watch my back! You go there! NO! Not there!!) that have made and broken many friendships. And so in this two-man shooter you can shout at either the AI or your mate’s incompetence and recapture those treasured memories…with friendly fire OFF. (No, ON!! etc.)
3. Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (Konami. PlayStation 3)
Hideo Kojima’s uber-sneak em’ up returns with a rapidly aging Solid Snake sporting a beautifully rendered Des Lynam ‘tache. The tagline ‘nowhere to hide’ suggests that MGS 4 will place more of an onus on stealth camouflage out in the open battlefield rather than the traditional hiding behind crates that we’re used to. PS3’s power will also mean that scenery will most likely be fully destructible, meaning that the sturdy brick wall you were eyeing up as a safe haven can be reduced to smouldering fragments in the blink of a cybernetic eye. Looks like the odds will be stacked against Snake even more than usual as plagues of chilling biomechanical bipedal tanks take over. We’re scared…and excited.
2. Assassin’s Creed (Ubisoft. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
It’s Prince of Persia, but not as we know it. You play as Altair, a lithe, nimble assassin (like, duh) who is a member of a shady guild during the time of the Crusades. What really has us wanting this game is the promise of lateral thinking and go anywhere, do anything gameplay. If Ubisoft successfully deliver on their vision, then players are in for a real treat. Add inventive swordplay and a retractable wrist mounted blade for quick, covert scalpings coupled with a clever control system which has you controlling Altair’s individual limbs and Assassin’s Creed is shaping up to be hot property indeed.
While we’re on the subjects of athletic killers, Ninja Theory’s Heavenly Sword deserves a special mention as it too is looking like it could be a beautiful dose of hacking and slashing for the PS3. Watch this space.
1. Grand Theft Auto IV (Rockstar. PlayStation 3, X-Box 360)
This is the big one. The first proper sequel to Grand Theft Auto III, (the clue’s in the title, folks) the expectation riding on GTA IV is immense. Due late in the year, (around October) Rockstar have plenty of time to polish their baby to a blinding shine. Details on the game are currently scarcer than Britney Spears knickers but are expected to emerge slowly in the coming months. The Shed hopes to see a game of San Andreas size, fully accessible interiors, fully destructible scenery, monkeys on bicycles, hot air balloons, the ability to explore space and the edge of the universe. Ok, so we’re not expecting too much, but now we’re just waiting with baited breath for the first screenshots to emerge. Get a move on, Rockstar!
Bad news just in: no Resident Evil 5 until 2008 otherwise this would have easily made the 2007 list. It’s going to be a loooooong wait as this one shambles towards release like the decaying undead.
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