The Shed's pick of the PS3 launch line-up.

I know we bang on about it a lot here at The Shed, but we really are quite excited about getting our hands on a PS3 this March, even in light of Sony’s announcement regarding watered-down PS2 backwards-compatibility for European consumers. Cheers again, Sony.

Resistance: Fall Of Man (Sony) – Blast ugly scum and take back Britain’s rubble strewn streets, then play this to wind down when you’ve finished. An array of exotic weapons like rifles that shoot through walls and round corners as well as
deadly spike spewing grenades make this an enticing prospect. Can't wait.

Motorstorm (Sony) – Buggies, dirt bikes, big rigs, pick-up trucks and much more face-off against one another in this chaotic motorised mash-up. Thrash around dusty or mud strewn tracks that change in real time as you churn up the surface. Fly-off cliffs (unintentionally), roll, crash and explode realistically (if you’re rubbish). Make obscene gestures towards rivals! What more could you ask for?!

<~ A normal day during the M6 rush hour.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (UbiSoft) – We’re sick and tired of everyone (high-spec PC owners especially) raving on about this whilst we’re unable to see what all the fuss is about. Well, come March 23rd, we’ll get to find out. Including add-on pack Knights of the Nine as standard; we’re shining our helmets and polishing our broadswords in anticipation. Our lives are more than dull enough to be consumed by such a beautifully polished RPG, which is why we're seriously looking forward to this. (Landon isn't, and would like to state for the record that he hates RPGs of all types).

Virtua Fighter 5 (Sega) – With no Tekken on the launch schedule, perhaps it’s time that The Shed’s allegiance shifted to the fighting purist’s choice. No mere button-masher, Virtua Fighter has always required more than a modicum of panache and actual skill, which is why it scares the bejeesus out of us. Never ones to shy away from a challenge however, The Shed plans to give VF 5 a serious run for its money come launch day (funds pending).


<~ Cirque De Soleil's latest stunt was a disaster.


Ridge Racer 7 (Namco Bandai) – A PlayStation launch wouldn’t be the same without the garish, eye scorching arcade stylings of Ridge powersliding onto Sony’s latest endeavour. This time is no different, with RR7 looking slicker than ever. Visually smooth and crisp, there’s no doubt that the unique arcade-handling will remain intact meaning that Ridge will always be that irresistible, creamy middle ground between Gran Turismo’s stuffy simulation and Burnout’s extreme arse-puckering speed and pyrotechnics. For that, we will always reserve a special place in our gaming heart for Ridge Racer.

PlayStation 3 will be out in 22 days on March 23rd. We can almost taste it.

Movie review: Rocky Balboa (January, 2007)

Celluloid hero, icon and multiple comeback kid Rocky is now a comeback pensioner. Sylvester Stallone might be 60 but he still packs a punch as an aging Balboa.
The sixth and final movie in the long running series sees Rocky still residing in his old neighbourhood, the erstwhile champ now settled down running his own restaurant named Adrian’s, a tribute to his late wife. Yes, Adrian’s gone, leaving Rocky with his whiny son (Milo Ventimiglia) and surly, old Paulie (Burt Young).
Time hasn’t been kind to Rocko and his neighbourhood. The old ice rink where he and Adrian shared precious moments has been demolished, Mickey’s old gym is falling into disrepair, much like the big man himself, the dilapidated buildings are beginning to display the ravages of time. In his advancing years, Balboa has become reflective, internal, melancholy and emotional, which pretty much sums up the movie’s tone during the opening minutes. We’re taken on a tour of the sites of the Stallion’s hometown and shown how they look now: a reminder of the many years that have passed since Rocky V (1990) filled fans and critics alike with venomous bile. Characters from the first film crop up, firmly rooting the movie in the world that Stallone created some 30 years ago. It’s a comfortably familiar film to watch if you’re a fan of the previous films, whereas newcomers may feel somewhat alienated but no less entertained.
More than any of the previous films Rocky Balboa is a human drama first and foremost. A story of a man whose time in the limelight is over, the relationship with his son somewhat strained and distant as they drift further apart, unable to find a common ground. So, it’s well established that the big lug has nothing to lose and a lot to gain when the chance arrives for Rocky to fight one more round.

In a fairly contrived plot device involving a computer generated fantasy face-off between current champ Mason ‘The Line’ Dixon (Antonio Tarver) and Rocky in his prime where Balboa emerges victorious, Rocky gets to thinking. After much cajoling from Paulie and drawn out procrastination, Rocky resolves to climb into the ring one final time. Fire still ‘in the basement’, his heart never in question, the Italian Stallion trains in the same manner as always: montage style! It’s air punching time again as our hero gets into shape in time-honoured fashion to take on Dixon, the reigning champion with a lot to prove. Rocky's final bout doesn't disappoint and is as visceral and fun as any of the boxing choreographed in previous Rocky movies.
Rocky Balboa stands up as a triumphant conclusion to an enduring character’s story even going some way to compensate for the awful fifth instalment. Stallone does justice to his creation, one of the most legendary, inspirational characters ever to be committed to celluloid. “Yo, Adrian! We did it! We did it!” He did do it. We’re just sad it’s all over. At least we’ve got John Rambo to look forward to. Um...
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Review: Table Tennis (2006, Rockstar San Diego. Xbox 360)

In 1972 Atari released a simple and addictive computer game that gave birth to a new form of home entertainment. Simple, addictive, hypnotic - the game was called Pong. 34 years on, Rockstar bring us a spiritual successor.

Landon has fond ping-pong memories. In school physical education lessons, he used to perfect his penhold grip in an old dimly lit gym, laughing as he tried to aim for his opponent's eyes. He would laugh and sweat and dive and scream. It was a such simple, direct sport. You didn't have to be any good, but it was sweet nice to hit a bendy topspin winner that bounced off the absolute edge of the table, impossible to return. At a glance it may seem strange for a company like Rockstar to make a sports game. No gimmicks, no excess stylisation, no pop culture references - just a straight up sports game. Really doe, it feels right that Rockstar have stepped up and accepted such an esoteric challenge. They've always walked the road less travelled and confounded expectation and - bar a few missteps - they've always delivered a unique gaming experience. Table Tennis is no different. It's quite astonishing how well the intricacies of ping pang qiu have been captured. The bare bones approach to the overall design has clearly allowed the developers to focus on the fundamentals that build a solid sports title: the controls. Everything is kept simple. Each of the face buttons provides a different type of shot - topspin, backspin, left and right. One bumper softens the power of the your shot, the other provides a brief moment of slow motion 'focus' to help make that shot more critical (more on this later). That's it. Simple, right? Yes and no. True to life, the game moves at a high speed and many other subtle factors become key. How best to use your repertoire of shots (to counteract, defend and attack), where best to plant your feet - split second decision and timing are the gamer's weapons. They should give this game to kids to improve their hand-eye coordination reflexes. Table Tennis is an education in how a sports game should play. The physics system is nice and weighty and never unfair. The movement of the players is realistic, everything feels solid and responsive. Functionality over graphics; recent NBA Live titles need to pay attention. So, the controls are intuitive and quick to grasp. So what? Any good sports game should be pick up and play. What marks the great from the good is what lies beneath the surface. Table Tennis has a lot of depth, at least in terms of the actual game play. It'll take a long while to feel like a pro and some of the harder difficulty settings will really test your skills. Cracking the game open is a challenge and provides many hours of game time, giving the single player a chance to improve their skills. Of course for two players the game really comes into it's own and shines like a newly minted pound coin. It shines bright, and Rockstar must have been sufficiently happy with it to not go further with the in-game features.

Bar a basic round-robin multiplayer tournament, there isn't much else to get stuck into. No mini-games or challenges, no create-a-player or career mode. This ultimately is the big letdown. Table Tennis is so good you're left wanting more of it, and sadly there are no secret treats to discover beyond the obvious. The obvious is sufficient, but only just. Seven unlockable characters and some polo shirts for them to wear (FUCK YEAH!) makes up your lot. Is it silly to want to adjust the pimpled rubber of the paddle? Is it crazy to want to customise your favourite character's sneaks? Maybe, but this is what gamers have come to expect from sports titles. Still, the fundamentals are all here. Great looking characters, each distinctive right down to their facial expressions and temperament. More importantly each plays differently, their strengths and weaknesses subtly adding to the dynamics of play. You really have to learn opposing characters playing styles if you're going to defeat them. And you'll need to think on your feet too. The 'focus' shot is a great touch here, allowing you to momentarily slow time to execute a difficult or decisive stroke. Timing your shots well helps to build a focus meter that can be activated at will. When both players are caressing the ball perfectly, the game becomes a hypnotic, orgasmic experience. A subtle techno soundtrack really adds to the atmosphere, building tension for important rallies, the arena lights dimming as each player fights for the win. It becomes very, very addictive, a game you'll dip into again and again until something more sophisticated comes along (yes please, Rockstar).

The best next-gen sports title? This depends on what sport is your chosen bag, but its very hard to fault Rockstar's enthusiastic dedication to recreating the art of takkyu. Certainly, Table Tennis is one of the most addictive sports simulators on 360, despite its lack of ambition. Sports simulator yeah you heard. One that's actually good clean fun. For Landon its become a time travel device, taking him back to that dirty school gym. He uses the beautiful replay system to watch his topspin smash clip the edge of the table in super-liquid-silk-slow-motion, impossible to return. It's a winner.
Hots: 7/10

The Shed salutes the console control pad. All hail!!

For your consideration: the control pad – videogaming’s unsung hero. Evaluated for design and functionality, the pad is not awarded nearly enough tribute in console gaming.
Starting life as a simple analog joystick back in the days of the Atari 5200, the humble console gaming controller has come a long way. Sporting only one button, a sticky, unreliable stick and no pause function: the Atari 5200 joystick was as basic as console controllers get. More than twenty-years on the control pad has steadily evolved, gaining more buttons, triggers, shoulder buttons and more recently rumble functions, motion sensors and wireless capabilities. Yet despite all this, despite all the joy that a control pad allows the player to access, it still isn’t appreciated nearly as much as it deserves. The pad is always the first port of call for any gamer on the receiving end of an unjust in-game death or frustratingly implemented control scheme. The pad is always the thing to receive the raging abuse of the over extended gamer and as such can be subjected to – and this is from first-hand accounts – biting, scratching, stomping and of course, throwing. A good hurl of a game pad is enough to exorcise any irate gamer’s fury and remains a firm favourite among short-fused players who show no concern for their mistreated peripherals. The sad thing is almost all of us; at one time or another will have been guilty of some form of pad-abuse. Even those who show restraint when stretched to the limit during a particularly trying session, will have button-bashed or mashed at some point during their gaming lives. What we all fail to understand is that the control pad is the enabler; the key to everything the game has to offer. It serves without question and asks nothing in return. That, on occasion we treat it with such malignant disrespect is patently indefensible.

A console’s control pad becomes an extension of the player. Play for long enough with one controller and every other pad just feels wrong. Only the feel of the warm moulded plastic of your own controller feels truly right. Like a samurai’s sword, or a cowboy’s gun: a gamer’s pad is his weapon and nothing else will do. Perhaps that’s why Sony is so scared to redesign their iconic PlayStation controller, especially when their boomerang-shaped PS3 prototype pad was met with howls of derision.
With the next-generation of gaming, the pad is breaking free. Of particular note is Nintendo’s Wii-mote - an exceptionally ingenious game controller. Now, more than ever the controller is taking centre stage as the source of innovation. Throwing a pad will no longer be an easy solution to an ill-advised anger episode, but a cardinal sin, frowned upon by all.
Gatekeeper to fantastical realms, tool for expression: appreciated, but not nearly as much as it deserves: the control pad is gaming’s unsung hero and warrants recognition as such. Without them, that incredible gaming miracle machine underneath your television can serve only as an elaborate and expensive paperweight.

World Exclusive Review! Gears Of War (2006, Epic. Xbox 360)

In the second of The Shed's ongoing series of fashionably late 360 reviews comes Gears Of War, that already much discussed, 3 million plus selling shooter.

^ Take That's second reunion in 2060 saw the group try out a dark new look.

Landon isn't the biggest fan of shooters. Wolfenstein 3D was the the last first-person title he really and truly loved. He danced with Unreal, flirted with Kingpin, but for some reason they've never been his thing. It wasn't until Killzone and Black that his sceptic anti-stance was softened and his rapid-fire love rekindled. With Gears, he's a fan once more.
For one thing, Gears is third-person. In third-person you get to take in your character - and when your character is as loveably rough as Marcus Fenix, that's a big positive. Secondly, the tactical mechanics of Gears are unique. Shooters have used cover systems before, but nothing as intuitive and joyful as this. All you need is one button to get you out of immediate danger. With this button you can dive, roll, sprint low to the ground and lunge for cover against scenery. Walls, pillars, sofas, antique chests of drawers - the lavishly detailed environments are there to be used as well as gawked at. Once stuck to cover you can duck out and shoot, blind-fire, spin to other nearby cover, jump over or push forward to gain ground. It'll take about half an hour to get to grips with and it'll take sustained sessions to master, but soon you'll move like a military bad-ass.
It's this emphasis on tactics and team play that makes Gears so different. The campaign can be battled through alone or split-screen with a mate (playing as Dom, Marcus' bestest pal). In addition you'll be backed up by other CPU soldiers - these guys aren't fools, occasionally they might even save your ass, which is much needed when you're up against intelligent enemies. But if you're playing through with a friend, they'll be the team member you really rely on. Locust will flank you, rush you and flush you out into the open. Communication becomes key to progression. Who will take out the sniper? Who will push ahead for a pre-emptive close up assault? Shit, it's even fun to argue over who gets the next grenade pickup.
Ever since Landon first played a computer game, he's always seen games as a social experience. Ultimately, games will always be more rewarding with two players working side by side to best the bad guys. Streets Of Rage, Two Crude Dudes, Probotector. It's been a long, long wait for the next great co-op adventure. It's here.
The campaign mode is immersive and whilst the plot is light in terms of any concrete details, under the surface action the story has some weight to it, at least enough to keep things steaming from one local to the next. And it's the level design that is perhaps the most brilliant aspect of Gears. Varied, intricate and never less than breathtaking to look at. You'll shoot your way through bombed-out streets, dark gothic buildings, factories, caves, gardens, mansions...there's even a section that takes place on a mine cart. Amazingly, it never feels like the art designers are throwing an ornate kitchen sink at your head. It's always in service of the story or to heighten the action - the war torn planet of Sera is realistic, tactile - the years of its history convincing. Gears is far from a no-brainer, either. Certain levels bring a horror element to the table, requiring you to tread carefully and observe your surroundings or risk a sudden death. It's this varied pace that makes the fire-fights so exhilarating when they arrive, Locust Horde screaming.


Any good shooter needs to bring the heavy artillery and Gears delivers, but it's refreshing to see intelligent design here too. It isn't one of these mushroom cloud laying muthafuckers where guns are over abundant, the player as God raining down the pain. Only being able to carry a simple arsenal, Gears players quickly become astute at selecting what's best for the given situation. Every weapon has its uses too, even ones that seem unwieldy at first can become life savers when dishing the hurt to certain nasties. 'Hardcore' and 'Insane' modes will last you a long while and will serve to sharpen your skills for multiplayer. With it's emphasis on teamwork, it's no surprise Gears has overtaken Halo 2 as the online favourite. Although Landon died within a minute of entering a match, he had to chuckle at himself getting split in two with a chainsaw. It's painful fun and another excuse to get together with more of your friends online, and perhaps frag some new ones too. Gears Of War is the new Myspace, yah yah.

Gears Of War is rightly the 360 poster boy because it has given the console something no other next-gen machine can yet lay claim to - a bona-fide, across the board landmark game. It's worth buying the damn console for. It's a title every gamer needs to play. It's the benchmark for what a killer app can achieve. Gears has entered the gaming pantheon and Epic are the extra kings of the gaming community right now. And yet, Landon wants to be honest with you - he can't stand to even look at the case anymore. He's decided to trade Gears in. He's going to trade it for the collector's version in the shiny black tin. He wants the artwork, he wants his little piece of history. Call him sad. Call him a geek. He wants that fucking tin.
ShedLove: 10/10

Manhunt 2 confirmed for PS2, PSP and Wii.

A sequel to Rockstar's controversy magnet and one of The Shed's all-time favourites Manhunt has recently been announced. A follow-up is a pleasant and welcome surprise given the furore surrounding the original game's release. That it will be released on current-gen hardware is a strange move as we expected Manhunt 2 to be next-gen. Frankly though, who cares? This is Manhunt so we'll play it on a NES or Master System if we have to. The disturbing trailer on the official website at www.rockstargames.com/manhunt2/splash/ hints at a darker (!?) game featuring a protagonist who may or may not be an escaped mental patient named Daniel Lamb who butchered his own family (our speculative guess). The Wii version is rumoured to feature motion sensor activated kills, so players can use their Wii-mote to strangle or slaughter victims. Just make sure you remain restrained and don't club your family to death with it. We can hear the anguished cries of outrage from the Daily Mail already.

Look forward to having brutal, bloody nightmares all over again when Manhunt 2 is released this May. Can't. Wait.

Review: Lumines II (bvg, PSP, 2006)

It's always the case that the most compulsively playable games are usually the simplest and most accessible. Lumines II is such a game, following in the footsteps of the puzzling greats, Columns, Bust-A-Move, Puyo Puyo and of course Tetris. Like all great puzzlers, Lumines II is deceptively straightforward. Simply combine 4x4 coloured blocks into sets of four or more to clear them from the grid. Easy. However, there's more to this simplistic premise than meets the eye and it's not long before you're racking up massive combos of screen-clearing explosions.

Consisting of several different game modes including challenge mode, time attack, puzzle and mission mode, you're never short of things to do. Challenge is a beat-the-high-score game where you unlock new tracks and skins as the blocks fall quicker and the action becomes increasingly frantic. When the music videos from the likes of The Black Eyed Peas, Beck and The Chemical Brothers kick in, the on-screen action becomes pretty hard to follow and can cause some rather nasty headaches as you try to focus on blocks whilst Will I Am jumps around in the background.

Lumines' additional modes offer some bite-size puzzles, tailor-made for quick play during a bus or train journey. Whether it's forming gradually more complicated shapes from blocks or clearing a certain configuration within a set of constraints, Lumines II constantly offers up a variety of fun and addictive challenges. Minutes quickly become hours as your eyes fuse to the screen, arrested by the riot of lights and colour. Expect some haunting, lucid block-filled dreams to invade sleep after extended Lumines II sessions; the game will etch its explosive pallette onto your retinas and won't go away. This sounds like a bad thing, but it's not. Lumines II is a transcendent puzzling experience, perfect for shutting yourself off from the rest of the world, or just the weirdoes on the number 44 bus home.

Lumines II is yet another essential game for the PSP, and serves as a reminder that perhaps it's time we started buying, playing and reviewing some crap games for a change.

Verdict: 9/10

Movie Review: The Fountain (January, 2007)

Plagued by recasting and budget cuts, no one could say that The Fountain’s journey to movie screens was an easy one. After leads Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett had to drop out and Warner Bros. pulled a portion of the funding it looked like Darren Aronofsky’s labour of love would be caught in limbo for a long time. The movie’s budget was reduced from $75 million to $35 million, forcing Aronofsky to cut a sprawling opening battle sequence. None of these obstacles have managed to have an effect on the end result. A rich, arresting movie, both beautiful and beguiling, The Fountain illustrates exactly why Aronofsky is still a director to watch, despite a seven-year absence after Requiem For A Dream (2000).
Firstly, credit must go to Hugh Jackman, who turns in a performance so committed and passionate that it’s virtually impossible to imagine Pitt in the role. Playing a triplet role as Tomas, Tommy and Tom Creo, spanning three different time periods, Jackman nails all three roles with gusto.

The Fountain is at its core a simple love story. In 16th century Spain, Conquistador Tomas sets out to locate the fabled Tree of Life to save Queen Isabella (Rachel Weisz) from the Inquisition. It’s during the present day that the bulk of the story unravels as medical research scientist Tom Creo strives to formulate a cure for his dying wife Izzi (Weisz, again) who has an inoperable brain tumour. It’s this emotional centre that drives the film, Jackman and Weisz providing powerful performances that make the central conceit of finding a treatment all the more heart wrenching. As Creo states: “Death is a disease…and there’s a cure.”

Floating through space in a bubble, surrounded by creamy, amber-gold nebula, Tommy appears to be the protector of the Tree of Life. Plagued by visions of Izzi and Isabella, it’s this strand of the story, which proves to be the most perplexing and ties the three threads together. Is he Tom Creo in the future: a product of the Tree of Life’s immortality-giving elixir? Perpetual whispers of “Finish it” drive Tommy mad and parallels between the hairs on the living bark of the tree echo the hairs on Izzi’s neck. That Tom Creo and Tommy are the same person seems to be the most likely rationalisation, but then The Fountain isn’t a film to be analysed and picked apart. Watch it for a unique experience: an epic journey, rather than expecting clear answers and explanations and you’ll get more out of The Fountain. Really, the only other movie that even resembles it for ideas, scope and sheer imagination is Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey and credit must go to Total Film who got there first in labelling it 2001 for a new generation.
An intelligent, challenging movie, The Fountain deserves multiple viewings. It can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. You can analyse it all you want, try and decipher it’s meaning and unearth it’s elusive secrets, but at the end of the day The Fountain’s message is clear. Live life for the moment, pure and simple.
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