Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie (July, 2007)

So, it's finally here. The greatest TV programme ever made, debuting on the big screen intact, yellow-skinned and four fingered like always. As massive fans of the show, watching since the age of eight when The Simpsons first began, our expectations have reached a feverishly high level for the long awaited movie version. And by and large it doesn't disappoint, it just doesn't quite meet our lofty expectations. But it's The Simpsons, on the big screen, which makes it inherently bulletproof. First of all, there's the initial shock of seeing The Simpsons at your local multiplex, larger than life to overcome. After 17 years of comfortable small screen viewing, it's simultaneously strange and exciting to see Springfield's residents on blown-up on celluloid.

The Simpsons Movie completely belongs to Homer; his own unique brand of endearing stupidity sets the plot's wheels in motion when he adopts a pig from Krusty Burger. To elaborate further would mar the experience, after all, the trailer has already given away some of the funniest scenes (Spider-Pig for instance). As expected, The Simpsons Movie plays out in much the same way as an extended episode would, albeit an episode that is four times longer than normal. Unfortunately, the story is so centred upon a certain set of characters that a lot of the supporting cast are inevitably marginalized. Most criminally of all, especially given the nature of the movie's story, is the lack of screen time for Mr. Burns. With such a massive universe, that some characters aren't catered for was to be expected. It's just a shame that certain favourites are pushed into the background or don't appear at all. Bizarrely, the movie is also bereft of the kind of in-jokes and movie references that are normally peppered throughout Simpsons episodes. Thankfully the knowing wit and sharp satire remains (Schwarzenegger in the White House) making the movie unmistakeably the work of the genius team of writers who have collectively managed to keep the show fresh for all these years.
Any criticisms levelled at The Simpsons Movie melt into insignificance once it gets going. From the very beginning, it's wall-to-wall gags, making The Simpsons Movie pound-for-pound funnier than any other comedy movie you're likely to see. Given the sheer volume of comical material on offer here, there’s bound to be a few that don't hit the target, but fortunately these don't detract from the rest of the film's funnies.
The Simpsons Movie is a hugely enjoyable film that successfully transports America's most dysfunctional family to cinemas. That it's consistently funny, engaging and massive fun is testament to the longevity of The Simpsons. And if Maggie's final word during the movie’s credits is to be believed, we haven't seen the last of The Simpsons on the big screen. Woohoo!
****

Hands on with the Heavenly Sword demo.

Our eyes light up! Our palms perspirate a bit! We even pee our pants a little! It's only a bloody demo of Heavenly Sword on the PlayStation Store! One hasty download later and we're ready to go. First impressions are promising as we bypass the lovely title menu, checking out the options and memorizing a few combos before we delve headlong into the action. After a slick expositional cut scene with heroine Nariko sharing a moment with her sister we find ourselves thrown straight into a breathtaking quick time sequence with Nariko sliding down ropes, leaping left and right as they're severed by the bad guys below. Successfully navigating this treacherous rope slide we drop from above ready to bring the pain to the gits who tried to end us. Swipe! Slash! Scratch one bad guy as we land on his head with the business end of our blade. So far so good.

But then we get into the real meat of the action and well, it's exactly what we feared. It's like bloody Genji or Dynasty Warriors: in short it's a button masher, nothing like the complex slasher we were hoping for. Early hype suggested a game mechanic similar to God Of War, Ninja Gaiden or Devil May Cry but it shares little in common with these great titles. What makes Heavenly Sword so frustrating is the glaring lack of a block or jump button, it's a huge omission, magnified by the fact that an older game- Ninja Gaiden has both block and jump buttons and feels so much more fluid, thanks to it's intuitive control scheme. Blocking in Heavenly Sword involves standing still, which just feels wrong during a frenetic sword battle. Jumping is replaced by a clumsily implemented evade move mapped to the right analog stick, which is not only ineffective but it's also easy to forget that it's there.

On a more positive tip, Heavenly Sword's combat looks outstanding when you're in full flow, even if you are just blindly pawing at the buttons like a chimp at a typewriter. There's an almost hypnotic quality to the action that almost dupes you into forgetting Heavenly Sword's flaws. Swordplay incorporates three stances to expand the combos on offer. You have your standard battle stance-just bash buttons wildly for best results-then there's ranged attacks which work like Kratos' chains in God Of War, unleashed by holding L1 as you attack. Finally, there's the power stance-hold R1-which gives you slow...wait for it, yes, powerful attacks to swipe enemies into the air unlocking potential for juggling moves. Mixing the three stances is a snap and makes the list of moves at your disposal nearly inexhaustible. A quick tap of O when your special meter's ready allows you to perform a fancy kill move on an unfortunate opponent, but this feels like initiating a cut scene rather than brilliantly executing a well-timed finisher. It has none of the instant satisfaction of say, tearing off limbs in God Of War, or transforming into a demon a la Devil May Cry. However, being able to throw virtually any object with a quick tap of X is a nice touch, particularly as you can throw dead bodies, barrels, discarded weapons, rocks...anything.

Heavenly Sword is achingly beautiful to behold, smooth and visually accomplished but ultimately a bit of a disappointment. We just hope that Ninja Theory delay the imminent release to spruce up the controls a bit, otherwise they may just squander the chance to give PS3 its first genuine killer app. What PS3 doesn't need is another Genji, what it needs is an iconic, console defining title and we had high hopes for the flame-haired Nariko to fly the flag on Sony's machine. We'll be sitting tight, praying we don't have to fly the white flag when Heavenly Sword reaches PlayStation 3 on September 14th.

Resident Evil 5: Is This The Scariest Resi Yet?

For months now details on Resident Evil 5 have been scarcer than talking monkeys. All we've had is the initial teaser trailer then a sloooooow drip feed of tiny tidbits of information. Infuriating! But now Capcom have seen fit to finally release a more accomplished trailer revealing that the game will retain the new over-the-shoulder perspective that made Resi 4 such a groundbreaking instalment in the hugely successful survival horror series. Additionally the traditional T-Virus zombies and Las Plagas infected are taking a break to make way for a new breed of fleet-footed uber-zombie bastards. In the trailer we see aggressive gangs of zombified villagers wielding machetes and scythes, knocking Redfield to the ground, stomping him like a group of happy-slapper chavs outside Mc.Donalds, wide-eyed and absolutely terrifying.

Resi 5 will star Resident Evil stalwart Chris Redfield, as we'd already guessed but this time he's working for the BSAA, whoever they are. So far there's been no allusion to the shady, omnipotent Umbrella Corporation and no sign of series villain and Val Kilmer wannabe, Albert Wesker...yet. However to write off the possibility of an Umbrella resurgence would be stupid, absent as they were from the last game, it would be timely to have the all-powerful, evil corporation making a comeback.

Also present in the trailer is a tantalising glimpse of the much vaunted light and dark gameplay element. When Chris enters the hut to see a native having his face chewed off by two fellow villagers, we see that Chris's eyes have to adjust to the darker environment. It appears to be a well implemented feature that could enhance the scares when moving from light to dark and vice versa. In this scene we see the aforementioned savaged geezer scramble up to his feet, his eyes and nose bleed before he leaps at Chris. This means that when natives are bitten, the infection is accelerated so that the transformation is virtually instantaneous. Wow. Maybe those Umbrella fruitcakes decide to fuse their T-Virus with the Las Plagas?! Logically, this could be the case as it would mean that your enemies possess attributes of both viruses, which would explain the potent mixture of speed and intelligence that these new zombies exhibit. Scary stuff.
Luckily, it looks as if Chris has been spending his spare time in the gym beefing up. At one point in the trailer he kicks the zombie hordes back, just like Leon in Resi 4, but-get this-he follows it up with a meaty right hook. Yeah! Punch that zombie in his rotten face!!

<~ At the very end of the trailer this bint submerged in water opens her eyes in a typically sinister fashion. Who is she?

Aesthetically, Resi 5 looks as if it will utilise the same down and dirty, dusty brown colour pallette as Resi 4, upping the grimy detail for next-gen consoles. Early specualation that the game would take place in a sun drenched European locale have been eschewed by the ethnicity of the natives. Resi 5 is set in what appears to be an oppressive African regime, hinted at by the Idi Amin-esque dictatorial guy with the aviators wielding the megaphone. We're thinking maybe Haiti or Uganda? Either way, Resi 5 is shaping up to be one of the hottest titles for 2008 and our eyes are already bleeding in anticipation. Yeeeargh!!

Resident Evil 5 is pencilled in for an early 2008 release, subject to slippage of course. Check out the full uncut E3 trailer at the PlayStation Store.

Movie Review: Zodiac (May, 2007)

During the late 1960s and ‘70s, Northern California was gripped by the ongoing investigations surrounding the notorious Zodiac killer. To this day the elusive serial killer remains unapprehended and the case was reopened in March of this year despite being marked as ‘inactive’ since April 2004. Great material for a slow burn thriller then and who better than David Fincher, who has previously brought visceral cops versus killer thrills to the big screen with Se7en (1995) to bring the story to vivid life. Fincher’s latest foray into the serial killer genre is a taut, atmospheric picture evoking such a strong sense of time and place that it’s impossible not to be instantly drawn in. Those expecting the glossy thrills of Se7en may feel slightly short-changed however as Zodiac is a movie that revels in the intricacy of details and authenticity, having more in common with films like All The President’s Men (1976) or LA Confidential (1997).
Zodiac is the darkest treat of the year, a film punctuated by starkly chilling murder sequences, real and spontaneous in their depiction of violence, they manage to be both minimalistic and shocking, the antithesis to the gratuitous, desensitising brutality portrayed in the likes of Hostel or Saw. In other words, effective in their own stripped down, perfunctory way.
At the heart of the movie are the fantastic central performances from the stellar cast. Mark Ruffalo is fantastic as the harried cop on the Zodiac case, Inspector Toschi, enveloped in the complex assignment to bring the killer to justice. Anthony Edwards offers solid support as his long-suffering partner, Inspector Armstrong. Robert Downey Jr. is typically reliable as acerbic journo, Paul Avery but best of all is Jake Gyllenhaal who is outstanding as the man who provided the movie’s inspiration with his brace of books based upon the Zodiac investigation, Robert Graysmith. Graysmith is a man who managed to be completely consumed by the Zodiac case, marginalizing his family and risking his own life, unearthing clues in an attempt to unravel the Zodiac killer’s identity. We’re there the entire way alongside him; helpless voyeurs watching a man and his family slowly fall apart as his obsession escalates. We’re there for the entire ride, through media hyperbole, red herrings, possible suspects, all leading up to the inescapable conclusion.
Zodiac may confound your expectations being unlike any of Fincher's previous work. It’s a deep and meticulous exploration of the men’s lives that were adversely affected by the eponymous killer. Two of these men, San Francisco Chronicle journalist Avery and editorial cartoonist Graysmith are brought to the fore as the recipients of the Zodiac’s infamous, menacing letters. Poorly spelt, boasting letters that ensured the Zodiac’s place in history despite committing just five confirmed kills. It was his taunting relationship with the media that perpetuated the ongoing myth of the Zodiac killer leading to numerous copycats, faked correspondence and movies like Dirty Harry (1971), which featured a maniacal sniper named ‘Scorpio’, based upon the Zodiac killer.

Zodiac is a spectacular achievement, Fincher dispenses with his trademark flashy directing style to deliver a master class in suspenseful moviemaking. Not only is it an ambitious and fully realised piece of cinema, but it is both challenging and enthralling as well as beautifully shot and flawlessly acted. At two and a half hours long it should feel like a draining slog yet it never does, thoughtfully slow-paced it still manages to effortlessly keep you hooked for the duration. Riveting.
****

Zodiac is out on DVD in the UK on 24th September.

Give Resistance a new lease of life.

Sometimes here at The Shed we get a little bored and frustrated with certain games. It's all part and parcel of having a short attention span. So, whilst playing a two player deathmatch on Resistance: Fall Of Man with the point limit set to 250, mine and my brother's interest began to gradually wane. Rather than quitting to the main menu and starting a quicker, less time-consuming match, we decided to see who could commit the most elaborate suicide. And so the Resistance Suicide Olympics was born.

You'd be amazed at how compulsive blowing yourself up with a well-aimed grenade can be. Throw one just in front of yourself, run into it, time a jump and you can perform graceful aerial flips and spins. Watch with morbid glee at the ragdoll physics sending your hapless body through the air and then respawn and do it all over again.
At the Resistance suicide Olympics, there are hundreds of possibilities, numerous acrobatic variations to subject your poor ragdoll puppet to (note: not quite as satisfying with Chimera). It's not long before you'll be setting yourself alight, throwing an explosive near a third story window and challenging yourself to flip your character out of it. Alternatively, why not blow yourself up so that your corpse cartwheels through a car windscreen? Why not? In Resistance only mind you...The Shed does not condone real life suicide. Keep it virtual, people!
You might also like to try this in any game that possesses humorous ragdoll physics, high environments and oodles of explosives. Go on...give it a go. It's no substitute for fragging a buddy, but it sure is a funny diversion, in a twisted kind of way.
Gotta go. Medication time.

Note weird foetal position in this one. Eerie. Almost makes you want to stop blowing the poor fella up. Almost... ~>

Review: Calling All Cars! (PlayStation 3, EDI. Incognito, Sony)

Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the best. Calling All Cars!' concept is infinitely beautiful in it's simplicity. From David Jaffe, the guy who brought us epic, mythological carnage in God Of War, Calling All Cars! is essentially a fusion of Micro Machines and old playground mainstay, 'tag.' Calling All Cars!' aim is to capture an escaped criminal and return him to jail. This can be achieved in a variety of ways, the easiest of which is running the apprehended crook straight through the prison's front door. Doing this only earns you a solitary point with two awarded for delivery to a slightly less convenient entrance. You can grab yourself three points by ramming the crim into the back of a paddy wagon or by dropping him at the least accessible prison entrance. Picking up four points means having to jab L2 for a nitro boost in order to pursue the helicopter, which you have to stick with for a couple of seconds before the writhing detainee is banged up properly. Nabbing five points is rare as you have to keep your eyes and ears open for the elusive red paddy wagon, but it's worth it as it can turn a game around in one fell swoop. And remember, you can't hold onto the slippery reprobate for long as after a while he'll escape. A host of wacky weapons help you keep hold of the crim and take him back when your opponents manage to ram you to steal him away (like 'tag,' see?). Inevitably, with the four of you scrambling to capture the same convict, things get pretty noisy and chaotic, pretty quickly. Like all great multi-player games, Calling All Cars! truly comes to life with a few mates (even moreso with booze).

As you've probably already gathered, The Shed is loving Calling All Cars! It's an unadulterated slice of old school multi-player mayhem, presented in gorgeous cartoony-exaggerated, cel-shaded, HD-O-Vision. Calling All Cars! is made all the more enjoyable due to it's wonderfully realised, quirky, cartoon charm; loopy music and brilliantly manic Oirish commentator ("Prison's frozen laddy! Go for the paddy wagon!"). In single player, it's diverting, but not nearly as much fun as playing with three drunk mates. But, then the same can be said of most games made with multi-player in mind. Once you've unlocked all of the single player vehicles, you probably won't bother revisiting it. Also, only having four stages-although all four vary significantly- limits replayability somewhat (more to download please). In multi-player however, Calling All Cars!' longevity is nigh-on infinite, like Shed multi-player faves Mashed and Micro Machines V3, Calling All Cars!' pick-up and play appeal will have you hooked for ages as long as you have mates. That's got to be worth a piffling £4.99, surely? Don't think so? Then maybe it's you we should be chucking into the paddy wagon. Laddy.
Score: 8/10

Killzone 2 breaks cover at E3!

<~ Impressive as it first appeared, the original trailer for Killzone 2 was unfortunately pre-rendered target footage. Thankfully, Guerilla have outdone themselves with their new E3 trailer.

So E3 was slightly scaled down this year but that didn't mean that it was any less packed with explosive gaming revelations. Trailers of massive games like Mercenaries 2, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots, Halo 3, LittleBigPlanet, My Sims, Rock Band and tons more. Most exciting of all- for us anyway- was Sony and Guerilla's big reveal of their super-hyped follow up to pretty good-but not great-first person shooter Killzone, the fittingly titled Killzone 2. Ever since the original trailer was exposed as target footage,
anticipation for actual in-game footage had reached fever pitch.
The new trailer for Killzone 2 is closer to the pre-rendered footage than we expected, rocking a grimy, Gears Of War-esque aesthetic, the inhospitable planet Helghan looks like a chaotic, post-apocalyptic, death-maze: a rubble strewn expanse of flaming buildings and deserted streets constantly pounded by bolts of lightning.

<~ Those unmistakable glowing orange goggles are fast becoming one of PlayStation's most iconic images. Make no mistake, Killzone 2 is going to be very special indeed.

Opening with ISA troops - including gruff mainstay Rico- embarking upon a loud, dramatic, aerial drop into enemy territory, the scene is set for some intense first-person action. The rest of the trailer doesn't disappoint, portraying the game's ultra-detailed environments, unflinching, brutal violence, destructible surroundings (pillars anyway) and sharp enemy AI with aplomb. Those evil orange-goggled Helghast stormtroopers actively seek out cover, choosing not to line up for execution, hiding behind walls and columns, displaying genuine intelligence. With the addition of claret-soaked decapitations, meaty, convincing gunplay and new, imposing, heavy troopers, Guerilla look as if they're on to a winner with Killzone 2. With first-person shooters being among
the most saturated genres, Killzone 2 appears to have enough good stuff going on to be able to compete with the likes of Halo 3, Haze and Bioshock.

Killzone 2 is slated for a March 2008 launch, meaning there's plenty of time for a thorough polish. In the meantime check out the trailer in HD at the PlayStation Store or at http://www.gametrailers.com/player/21504.html
Helghast-ic!

The Trouble With Being A Gamer Today.

Saying games are big business these days is a gross understatement. It's widely documented that the games industry makes more money than the movie industry and with videogame production values growing all the time, games are increasingly becoming large scale undertakings. Furthermore, a number of games are using their increased budgets to create works of such limitless scope that they deserve recognition as the hugely ambitious artistic endeavours that they are. Even smaller scale games with original ideas like LocoRoco deserve mainstream credit, but are widely overlooked, simply because at the end of the day, they're 'only a game.' Yet, despite gaming's evolution from comparatively visually primitive games (no less worthy of artistic merit) to full blown, multi-million budget projects, more in keeping with a movie production, videogames continue to be marginalised by the mainstream as a lower form of creative media.
In recent years, games have slowly managed to seep into the mainstream, partially as a result of Sony's success with the original PlayStation making it a console for anyone and everyone. With the PS2 shifting millions of units worldwide and the subsequent runaway success of Nintendo's DS and Wii, gaming is more popular than ever, recalling the days of Nintendo's all-conquering NES and Gameboy, systems that managed to sell 40 million and 120 million units respectively.

Here's the rub. In spite of all of the progression games have made over the past two decades as an artistic medium, there still exists a tunnel-visioned minority who are completely ignorant to the value and importance of videogames. Whether it's an anti-games lobbyist like Jack Thompson, your average outraged Daily Mail reader or narrow minded ignoramus, they're all guilty of holding on to an anachronistic view of gaming as a depraved social evil, robbing children of sunlight, sanity and moral values. As long as this uninformed, blinkered view exists, games will forever be seen as unhealthy toys for kids: violent and anti-social, when the reality is that violent games are appropriately rated by the BBFC and gaming can be anything but anti-social under the right circumstances. Games like Guitar Hero, Singstar, Warioware and Wii Sports are transforming the image of games in a positive way, getting the whole family involved but there's still a long way to go before games become accepted by society as a whole.

The press jumping all over the latest controversy-baiting title only makes matters worse, perpetuating this unfounded perception of gaming and hindering the growth of the industry into one that is universally taken seriously like it should be. The recent outcry over the use of Manchester cathedral in Resistance and the banning of Manhunt 2 are the latest examples of games being targeted as a scapegoat for society’s ills. Whenever there's a tragic shooting or seemingly unmotivated killing, the finger of blame is always pointed squarely at either a game or movie that the killer used to play/watch as people desperately clutch at straws for a tenuous link in a vain attempt to try and explain away the offender's mental state. It's an argument that is fast becoming tired and predictable.

I recently experienced an attitude that is sadly still prevalent amongst the majority of the population, particularly those 40 and over. Talking to someone about the benefits of a 100Hz television I told her that as a gamer, 100Hz is something to look out for. She began to tell me how she never intends to game and from her tone, I could tell that she was of the opinion that gaming is for geeks with no social lives. Proclaiming myself as a gamer, she seemed disgusted, exclaiming, "Oh God! Do something else with your life!" It was this knee-jerk reaction to the mention of games that provided me with the impetus to write this piece.

It pisses me off that people still perceive games in this way, as a waste of time, an addiction that saps away at the life force of people who would otherwise be out climbing mountains or experiencing the wonders of the world. The reality is, gaming is not an addiction for the vast majority of players. It can be a more involving and sociable pastime than watching a film or reading a book and can engage and challenge a participant in a completely different way to that of a book or film. Neither does gaming get in the way of having a perfectly normal and well-adjusted life in the outside world. Until people are educated in the value of gaming as a well-established medium with an army of followers who are passionate about their pastime, gaming is doomed to forever be perceived as a hobby for wan, acne-ridden pariahs with nothing better to do. Just because I happen to be all of the above, means nothing. Gaming is the most exciting medium that continues to flourish and develop as innovation and invention largely thrives unabated. No other creative medium is so fast moving and genuinely interesting to be involved in. In this sense gaming is not just a cultural phenomenon but also a way of life. However until people attempt to understand gaming rather than chastise and judge it as a base form of entertainment, the medium will never be taken seriously.