Manhunt (2003, Rockstar. PlayStation 2, X-Box).

<~ A typically grisly execution. Things getting nasty in Tesco's as Cash gets busy with a placcy bag. Nasty.

Manhunt is a truly original, one of a kind classic, more than worthy of a next-gen sequel. The likelihood of this happening is tragically slim as this was a game somewhat overlooked due to it's graphic content. A lot of wussy gamers chose to bypass playing one of the best games in recent years. Their loss as Manhunt is a pure dose of unadulterated fun. You play as James Earl Cash rescued from a lethal injection on death row, handed a second chance at life by sadistic snuff film director, Starkweather. That is subject to the director’s conditions to co-operate and play his part in a deadly game of cat and mouse. For Cash it’s kill or be killed.
As you make your way through the dark, foreboding alleyways of Carcer city you are instructed to commit increasingly grisly and disturbing executions at the behest of the omnipresent director who communicates with Cash via an earpiece. Utilising an array of exotic weapons ranging from plastic bags and glass shards to begin with, to machetes and meat cleavers later on in the game. When performing a fatality the game camera switches to Starkweather’s point of view in glorious, fuzzy snuff-o-vision to give you the optimum view of your dirty deed. It’s bizarrely voyeuristic and may give you bad dreams for a while. Blood and skull fragments fly at the camera as you score a home run with a hunter’s head. You’ll hear your victim gargle, desperately gagging for air as you saw through his neck with cheese wire. Be forewarned the faint of heart might lose their lunch; Manhunt is every bit as horrifying as it sounds. Yet, Manhunt is so intuitive and hugely gratifying to play. Lock onto a character using L1 and three arrows will frame your next victim’s head. Hold down  or X and slowly creep up on your ill-fated prey. The colour of the arrows denotes the level of violence with which cash will perform the kill. White arrows are quick kills, no fuss, no muss. Hold on a little longer and yellow kills are suitably vulgar, but it’s the red kills that you’ll want to strive for. Keep racking these up and you’ll be rewarded a higher star rating and stars unlock extras.
Most of Manhunt has Cash relying on stealth and lurking in the shadows, a strategy that you’ll be forced to adopt in order to survive. You’ll need to patiently plan your attack before you go steaming in, as Cash won’t last long up close and personal. It’s more viable to hang back and wait, the hunter’s AI is such that you won’t be able to predict their patrol patterns right away, you’ll have to survey your surroundings and consider your options.
For the latter part of the game, Cash gets tooled up with a variety of firearms making gun battles the order of the day. It makes Manhunt refreshingly varied.
If like me you are desensitised to violence you’ll lap this up. If you cry when the little fluffy kitten dies on Animal Hospital or vomit at the thought of watching Casualty, this isn’t the game for you. Go play Crash Bandicoot instead.Give Manhunt your full attention and you’ll discover a game that’s satisfying, rewarding and enjoyable in equal measure. Unmissable for anyone old enough to drink beer.
Verdict: 10/10

X-Men: The Last Stand. (May 2006)

Kelsey Grammer as Beast, the best thing in a disappointing threequel.

Anyone will tell you that the third film in a trilogy is often the weakest and least favoured among the movie watching masses. Godfather III, Scream 3, Return of the Jedi, Blade Trinity; they all suffered the same feeling of ever diminishing returns. And so it is with X3, a sequel that begins with a promising all-action opening sequence and then subsequently fizzles out into a by-the-numbers action franchise movie. The action set pieces are all whizz bang fantastic and great fun whilst new characters such as Beast (yay!) and Juggernaut (Vinnie Jones, booooo!) are welcome additions. However, in the X-Men comics there is a rich and deep universe of diverse and interesting characters, so why in the movie is Magneto's brotherhood made up of an assembly of crappy expendable genero mutants?
When the exciting announcement surfaced that Juggernaut was to be featured in the new movie fears were that he wouldn't be done justice as he's one of the coolest and most popular villains in the X-comics. Here however, he is demoted to the role of jester as Vinnie Jones spouts some of the lamest one liners ever commited to celluloid. "Get me out of 'ere I need a pee!" being his cringeworthy opening gambit.
On the plus side Wolverine and Storm are allowed to cut loose a little and are undeniably cool, anchoring the frenetic action scenes with their spectacular moves. There's still a feeling that they're still holding back and Wolverine never really taps into his berserker side which is a shame.
X-Men 3 isn't a bad movie by any means, it's just an extremely disappointing one, moreso if you're a comic book fan.
X3 also takes enormous liberties with it's source material fabricating events which never occured in the comics. Those unfamiliar with the X-Men comics will definitely get more out of this film but for die-hard X-fans this will be a movie watched with gritted teeth.
***

Review: Hitman: Blood Money (Eidos, 2006. PlayStation 2, PC, X Box, X Box 360).

This is the fourth game in the highly acclaimed Hitman series and sees the return of cueball headed assassin Agent 47. IO interactive have been hard at work shining up the scuffed diamond that was 2004's Hitman: Contracts and have produced a game of such flawless quality that it's hard to find fault with it. The level design and AI of the NPCs is such that you're never frustrated when you slip up. You have only yourself to blame, whereas in past Hitman games some of the enemy AI could be quite punishing and occasionally a tad erratic. You'd find your carefully planned disguise ousted for seemingly no reason. Thankfully, this is no longer a problem as the game is now more forgiving without being detrimental to the challenge. Also, the welcome addition of a bar which indicates the level of suspicion that your activities attract gives you a clearer idea of where you stand with the patrolling guards. Green and you're fine, red and you're screwed. Simple.
IO have also taken time to improve upon the already outstanding visuals. This time round they look truly edible. Solid and glitch free, they're a noticeable improvement on previous instalments. Add to this an array of additional moves and weapons in 47's arsenal and you're looking at the most accessible and enjoyable Hitman yet. 47 can now make certain hits look like accidents. You can push people down stairs, over balconies or you can rig specific objects to cause terrible deaths that look unintentional. Dressing up plays a pivotal role as usual in your sneakery, pick of the bunch being a clown costume. Of the 12 levels on offer the Mardi Gras has to be the most stunning as you wade through the crowds following your target. It's exhilarating stuff.
As always there are numerous ways to infiltrate and execute your ill-fated targets. Blood Money offers you so many ways to approach each level that the illusion of freedom is palpable. You'll definitely want to play through and garner those elusive silent assassin ratings as Hitman is a joy to play. As much fun exercising your itchy trigger finger with your customised silverballers as it is to execute the Holy Grail that is the perfect hit, Hitman actively encourages lateral thinking from the player making it hands down the best Hitman game yet and contender for game of the year.
Verdict: 9/10

Rhymes inspired by Shadow of the Colossus by Sam Wylie.

YO- I wander in the mountains keep ma back to y'all
Throw an arrow ma way an' it's time for y'all ta fall
I'm a man o' nature I don't like the mall
You got guts kid but damn! you so small
Y'all mine them diamonds, refine them diamonds, carve them diamonds - just to floss
But the only bling I needs ma coat o' moss
So bang dem drums or ya stereo ya tape ya-just got word
It's the man o' nature, grab up ya plate ya-just got served
Yo I just slept for a thou of course I looks weird
Steal from Mayan temples to make ma stone beard
- cos -I be a huge-ass colossi dwellin in ma sea cave
Ma big barnacled-back it break da sea wave
Ma eyez be blood red when me feel the rage
An if you wanna face me you best be real brave
Well I'm a tall ass mass of cogs an stone
My ledgy wedgy arm will crush your bone
Don be fooled by ma hair beein' silvery grey
Over a a thousand years old but I haven't aged a day
Stand tall over plains from ma uber-plateau
An' when I step up on the mic ma eyes starts to glow
- yo -Standin all together we be the shadowy three
Suck out your soul and bust an emcee
Guardians of nature that's what we be
Protectors of the earth cos life ain't free
Our idols take a stance up on the wall
Ain't afraid to dance just afraid to fall
Through the tunnel of white-light all etched in blue
When you wake up we starin' down at YOU!
Standin' all together we be the shadowy three
Suck out your soul and bust an emcee
Blessed cos the heavens shine down on us
We favoured by the gods - you straight out-o-luck!!

Extract taken from the Shadowy Three EP 'Movin' Mountains' available on Memnon-On-An-On Records.Yo! what happened to peace? PEACE!.....

...you know, when it comes down to it he really ain't such a bad guy.
He's lonely, that's all. Down there in the dark of your subconscious.
He can't see or hear anyone properly, have a real honest chat face to
face or make any kind of connection. No wonder he's sad and misplacing his anger.
I wouldn't exactly call him a billy no-mates, though. As you can see
in this painting he had comissioned, he's got a few friends and he's
proud to show them off.
Go on, give his mobile a call...

X Box 360 vs. PS3 vs. Wii

Battle of the next-gen consoles. Which one's best?
X Box 360: out now. Haven't played one yet, but looks a little bit, well, meh. Killer app is going to be Halo 3. Obviously. £279.99 for premium package.
PlayStation 3: In my humble opinion this is the one that'll blow the competition away. Has a crop of awesome looking games including exclusive killer-apps Assassin's Creed, Metal Gear Solid 4, GTA IV and Heavenly Sword. This is where our £425 (ouch) is going, on the 60Gb premium version. Delayed until March 2007 due to a shortage of blu-ray diodes or some such. Upgradeable, online, HDD, blah, blah, blah. Non-vibrating, motion-sensitive, bluetooth controllers. All in all, a truly revolutionary looking console. Kneel before it.
Nintendo Wii: the console formerly known as Revolution. Due 8th December 2006. Boasts a wand-like motion sensor pad that looks both fun and innovative lending the console massive potential. The more of the Wii we've seen the more enticing a prospect it becomes. Will probably share the same fate as the GameCube, which found its niche but failed to match the success of its rivals. However, a launch price of 180 quid for a bundle including Wii Sports will definitely work in its favour. Here's hoping as I think the Wii deserves to be popular.